• It's always in a doctor's best interest to keep his patients alive. It's more profitable that way!
    It's always in a doctor's best interest to keep his patients alive. It's more profitable that way!
  • One good thing about Veterinary Doctors is their patients...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
can't Google!
    One good thing about Veterinary Doctors is their patients...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    can't Google!
  • Patient: Doctor, what happens after we die?<br/>
Doctor: We clean the bed and admit a new patient!
    Patient: Doctor, what happens after we die?
    Doctor: We clean the bed and admit a new patient!
  • Doctor: It looks like you are pregnant.<br/>
Girl: I'm pregnant?<br/>
Doctor: No, but it looks like you are!
    Doctor: It looks like you are pregnant.
    Girl: I'm pregnant?
    Doctor: No, but it looks like you are!
  • A man woke up in hospital after an accident.<br/>
He shouted, `Doctor, I can't feel my legs!`<br/>
The Doctor replied, `I know you can't, because I've cut off your arms!`
    A man woke up in hospital after an accident.
    He shouted, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
    The Doctor replied, "I know you can't, because I've cut off your arms!"
  • Proposed rate chart outside the doctor's cabin:<br/>
My diagnosis.My treatment - 500<br/>
Your Differential diagnosis - 1000<br/>
Your google doubts - 1500<br/>
Your diagnosis. My treatment  - 2000<br/>
Your diagnosis your treatment - 5000
    Proposed rate chart outside the doctor's cabin:
    My diagnosis.My treatment - 500
    Your Differential diagnosis - 1000
    Your google doubts - 1500
    Your diagnosis. My treatment - 2000
    Your diagnosis your treatment - 5000
  • Doctor: I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.<br/>
Patient: Great, how often do I have to take it? <br/>
Doctor: Every two hours!
    Doctor: I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.
    Patient: Great, how often do I have to take it?
    Doctor: Every two hours!
  • Doctor: Do you smoke?<br/>
Patient: Yes.<br/>
Doctor: Alcohol?<br/>
Patient: Yes, every day.<br/>
Doctor: Exercise?<br/>
Patient: Never.<br/>
Doctor: Women?<br/>
Patient: Plenty.<br/>
Doctor: Can we be friends?
    Doctor: Do you smoke?
    Patient: Yes.
    Doctor: Alcohol?
    Patient: Yes, every day.
    Doctor: Exercise?
    Patient: Never.
    Doctor: Women?
    Patient: Plenty.
    Doctor: Can we be friends?
  • After having severe stomach pain, a girl visited the doctor's clinic.<br/>
Doctor: What did you have for lunch?<br/>
Girl: I ate hamburger, french fries, a corn pizza and had a coke.<br/>
Doctor: Instagram Nahi Hai Yeh, Sach Mein Kya Khaya Tha Woh Batao?<br/>
Girl: Tinde Ki Sabzi Aur Roti!
    After having severe stomach pain, a girl visited the doctor's clinic.
    Doctor: What did you have for lunch?
    Girl: I ate hamburger, french fries, a corn pizza and had a coke.
    Doctor: Instagram Nahi Hai Yeh, Sach Mein Kya Khaya Tha Woh Batao?
    Girl: Tinde Ki Sabzi Aur Roti!
  • Patient: Doctor, I'm having some trouble with my breathing.<br/>
Doctor: Don't worry, I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!
    Patient: Doctor, I'm having some trouble with my breathing.
    Doctor: Don't worry, I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!