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On my wedding, everyone told me that I will live happily ever after...
Ever since I have never believed In exit polls! -
Newage sign by Traffic Police:
Drink and Drive; we will show you new bars! -
Message from a friend in China:
The volatile stock market affects human beings & their best friends.
Last month, the market was good, my dog ate what I ate.
Last week, the market was bad, I ate what my dog ate.
Yesterday, the market crashed, I ate my dog! -
Why do people ask, "How was work?"
Like, work is work... I would rather be in Europe right now, naked on a yacht, while destroying my liver... but here I am! -
While the whole nation was waiting for '6 PM' for the Exit Polls results;
Punjabis were waiting for '6 PM' for the 'Dry Day' to get over!
Priorities do matter! -
Auto reply message of a drunkard:
Can't talk now...
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Alcohol you later! -
Who is a Malayalee?
A Malayalee is a person who can speak Malayalam in any language! -
People are telling me to drink LESS whiskey... but I've never heard of that brand! -
It's the communication age, yet nobody wants to utter more than three words before getting back to their phones! -
Pro Tip:
Never ask an angry woman to "Just calm down" because it has the same effect as dropping a Mentos in a bottle of Coke!