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Finally, I am in relationsleep.
Please read again! -
Me: Alexa, make me feel good.
Alexa: Bhai Tujhe Hi Dekh Rahi Hai! -
Girlfriend: Babu Mujhe Laptop Ka Wallpaper Change Karna, Sikhao Na.
Pappu: OK! Pehle Computer File Main Jao.
Girlfriend: Chali Gayi.
Pappu: Ab Upar Dekho Kya Hai?
Girlfriend: Pankha.
Pappu: Uss Se Latak Kar Mar Jao! -
I don't always sleep well but when I do, it's 5 minutes before my alarm goes off! -
The fundamental difference between me and Sundar Pichai is that he works for Google and Google works for me! -
My handwriting is so bad that people think I'm a doctor! -
Better to have loved and divorced...
Than to be stuck with an idiot forever! -
Every wife expects to receive six things from her husband:
Sincerity
Affection Love
Attention
Respect and
Yourself Now the problem is that it is very difficult to remember all the six in a sequence. So they have invented its short form - SALARY! -
My wife is complaining that my Netflix addiction is ruining our relationship.
I don't understand why she thinks like that, it's our sixth season together! -
It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering!