• Ophthalmologist: Have you been sleeping with your contacts?<br/>
Patient: No... not all of them!
    Ophthalmologist: Have you been sleeping with your contacts?
    Patient: No... not all of them!
  • When you get a healthy test report.<br/>
Other countries: Thank God! Everything is fine.<br/>
India: Saala, 500 Bhi Lag Gaya Aur Aaya Bhi Kuch Nahi!
    When you get a healthy test report.
    Other countries: Thank God! Everything is fine.
    India: Saala, 500 Bhi Lag Gaya Aur Aaya Bhi Kuch Nahi!
  • Mom: Do you use drugs?<br/>
Daughter: No mom, why?<br/>
Mom: Because you are chopping onion with your bank card!
    Mom: Do you use drugs?
    Daughter: No mom, why?
    Mom: Because you are chopping onion with your bank card!
  • Police Officer: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?<br/>
Man: The thief was spending less than my wife.<br/>
Police Officer: Then... why are you reporting it now?<br/>
Man: I think thief's wife has started using it now!
    Police Officer: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?
    Man: The thief was spending less than my wife.
    Police Officer: Then... why are you reporting it now?
    Man: I think thief's wife has started using it now!
  • Friends: Goa Ka Plan Banaye?<br/>
Me: Bhai, Jab Cancel Hi Karna Hai Toh Switzerland Ka Banate Hain!
    Friends: Goa Ka Plan Banaye?
    Me: Bhai, Jab Cancel Hi Karna Hai Toh Switzerland Ka Banate Hain!
  • Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup!
    Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup!
  • Others life - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.<br/>
My life - Kabhi Gham, Kabhi Bahut Zyada Gham aur Kabhi-Kabhi Toh Hadd Se Zyada Gham!
    Others life - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.
    My life - Kabhi Gham, Kabhi Bahut Zyada Gham aur Kabhi-Kabhi Toh Hadd Se Zyada Gham!
  • Wife: You told me you'd be home from the tavern before seven.<br/>
Husband: I am home before seven. I had six beers and I came home!
    Wife: You told me you'd be home from the tavern before seven.
    Husband: I am home before seven. I had six beers and I came home!
  • There are 2 Pandas:<br/>
The brave one, dedicated to fighting evil: Kung Fu Panda<br/>
The other one, who just doesn't care: Ki Farak Panda!
    There are 2 Pandas:
    The brave one, dedicated to fighting evil: Kung Fu Panda
    The other one, who just doesn't care: Ki Farak Panda!
  • Teacher: Translate this sentence into Hindi `Liza please have a seat`.<br/>
Student: Elizabeth!
    Teacher: Translate this sentence into Hindi "Liza please have a seat".
    Student: Elizabeth!