|Ophthalmologist: Have you been sleeping with your contacts?|
Patient: No... not all of them!
|When you get a healthy test report.|
Other countries: Thank God! Everything is fine.
India: Saala, 500 Bhi Lag Gaya Aur Aaya Bhi Kuch Nahi!
|Mom: Do you use drugs?|
Daughter: No mom, why?
Mom: Because you are chopping onion with your bank card!
|Police Officer: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?|
Man: The thief was spending less than my wife.
Police Officer: Then... why are you reporting it now?
Man: I think thief's wife has started using it now!
|Friends: Goa Ka Plan Banaye?|
Me: Bhai, Jab Cancel Hi Karna Hai Toh Switzerland Ka Banate Hain!
|Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup!|
|Others life - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.|
My life - Kabhi Gham, Kabhi Bahut Zyada Gham aur Kabhi-Kabhi Toh Hadd Se Zyada Gham!
|Wife: You told me you'd be home from the tavern before seven.|
Husband: I am home before seven. I had six beers and I came home!
|There are 2 Pandas:|
The brave one, dedicated to fighting evil: Kung Fu Panda
The other one, who just doesn't care: Ki Farak Panda!
|Teacher: Translate this sentence into Hindi "Liza please have a seat".|