|Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"|
The other one says, "Well, I'm a big metal fan!"
|Hot girl pays me a compliment:|
Heart: I'm falling in love.
Brain: I'm gonna say something whacky and ruin it all.
Stomach: Wanna hear a strange sound?
Liver: Oh boy here we go again!
|For our chemistry exam, we had to write a thousand words on acid. |
Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted!
|They are accepting nominations for the Procrastination challenge.|
I think I will enroll tomorrow!
|I thought I was late for my flight so Iran.|
The guy at the boarding gate said Aap Qatar Mein Hain Aap Kuwait Karna Padega.
I asked are you sure?
He said Yemen.
I was like Oman!
|A girl agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of Lemonade!|
You could say, I Schwepped her off her feet!
|I used to be in a band called The Hinges.|
We supported The Doors!
|This morning I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee.|
After 15 minutes of drive on the motorway, I realised I left my car at home!
|Waking up before the alarm has its own advantages. You can use that time to check your bank balance and get out of bed automatically!|
|Being around weed smokers doesn't mean that I smoke weed I just have friends in high places!|