|When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.|
Apparently this is known as "Many Paws"!
|I had a fire evacuation training meeting this week. My boss asked, `what steps would you take in the event of a fire?`|
Apparently, fast ones wasn't the answer he was looking for!
|I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.|
She looked surprised!
|So I broke my iPhone!|
I stupidly asked Siri `how do I make my wife happy?`
Siri hasn't stopped talking for two weeks now!
|Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating!|
|My friend's allergic to rice.|
|How do you make anti-freeze?|
Steal her blanket!
|Last week, I replaced every window in my house.|
I realised this morning I had a crack in my glasses!
|Just a thought:|
There's absolutely no decent hand gesture to tell a woman riding a scooty that her headlights are on!
|Sometimes I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once!|