• Two windmills are in a field. One asks, `What kind of music do you like?`<br/>

The other one says, `Well, I'm a big metal fan!`
    Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
    The other one says, "Well, I'm a big metal fan!"
  • Hot girl pays me a compliment:<br/>
Heart: I'm falling in love.<br/>
Brain: I'm gonna say something whacky and ruin it all.<br/>
Stomach: Wanna hear a strange sound?<br/>
Liver: Oh boy here we go again!
    Hot girl pays me a compliment:
    Heart: I'm falling in love.
    Brain: I'm gonna say something whacky and ruin it all.
    Stomach: Wanna hear a strange sound?
    Liver: Oh boy here we go again!
  • For our chemistry exam, we had to write a thousand words on acid. <br/>
Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted!
    For our chemistry exam, we had to write a thousand words on acid.
    Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted!
  • They are accepting nominations for the Procrastination challenge.<br/>
I think I will enroll tomorrow!
    They are accepting nominations for the Procrastination challenge.
    I think I will enroll tomorrow!
  • I thought I was late for my flight so Iran.<br/>
The guy at the boarding gate said Aap Qatar Mein Hain Aap Kuwait Karna Padega.<br/>
I asked are you sure?<br/>
He said Yemen.<br/>
I was like Oman!
    I thought I was late for my flight so Iran.
    The guy at the boarding gate said Aap Qatar Mein Hain Aap Kuwait Karna Padega.
    I asked are you sure?
    He said Yemen.
    I was like Oman!
  • A girl agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of Lemonade!<br/>
You could say, I Schwepped her off her feet!
    A girl agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of Lemonade!
    You could say, I Schwepped her off her feet!
  • I used to be in a band called The Hinges.<br/>
We supported The Doors!
    I used to be in a band called The Hinges.
    We supported The Doors!
  • This morning I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee.<br/>
After 15 minutes of drive on the motorway, I realised I left my car at home!
    This morning I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee.
    After 15 minutes of drive on the motorway, I realised I left my car at home!
  • Waking up before the alarm has its own advantages. You can use that time to check your bank balance and get out of bed automatically!
    Waking up before the alarm has its own advantages. You can use that time to check your bank balance and get out of bed automatically!
  • Being around weed smokers doesn't mean that I smoke weed I just have friends in high places!
    Being around weed smokers doesn't mean that I smoke weed I just have friends in high places!