• When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.<br/>
Apparently this is known as `Many Paws`!
    When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.
    Apparently this is known as "Many Paws"!
  • I had a fire evacuation training meeting this week. My boss asked, `what steps would you take in the event of a fire?`<br/>
Apparently, fast ones wasn't the answer he was looking for!
    I had a fire evacuation training meeting this week. My boss asked, `what steps would you take in the event of a fire?`
    Apparently, fast ones wasn't the answer he was looking for!
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.<br/>
She looked surprised!
    I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised!
  • So I broke my iPhone!<br/>
I stupidly asked Siri `how do I make my wife happy?` <br/>
Siri hasn't stopped talking for two weeks now!
    So I broke my iPhone!
    I stupidly asked Siri `how do I make my wife happy?`
    Siri hasn't stopped talking for two weeks now!
  • Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating!
    Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating!
  • My friend's allergic to rice.<br/>
He's basmatic!
    My friend's allergic to rice.
    He's basmatic!
  • How do you make anti-freeze?<br/>
Steal her blanket!
    How do you make anti-freeze?
    Steal her blanket!
  • Last week, I replaced every window in my house.<br/>
I realised this morning I had a crack in my glasses!
    Last week, I replaced every window in my house.
    I realised this morning I had a crack in my glasses!
  • Just a thought:<br/>
There's absolutely no decent hand gesture to tell a woman riding a scooty that her headlights are on!
    Just a thought:
    There's absolutely no decent hand gesture to tell a woman riding a scooty that her headlights are on!
  • Sometimes I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once!
    Sometimes I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once!