|A little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?|
Father: No, some begin with - If elected I promise...
|When people show me pictures of their kids I show them pictures of my exes.|
If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine!
|Pretty People: Am I beautiful?|
Me: Sure as hell you are.
Ugly People: Am I beautiful?
Me: Everyone is beautiful. We are all children of God!
|Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.|
Then it just becomes a Soap Opera!
|What is a home?|
Home is the place where you can...
Scratch exactly where its itching!
|He promised her stars and moon.|
They got married.
She got pregnant.
He named their son 'Tarachand'!
|Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% battery left!|
|My girlfriend's birthday is in 2 days, she said she'd be happy with something with a lot of diamonds in it.|
I hope she loves this pack of playing cards!
|I have a Punjabi friend who doesn't drink.|
I think he is adopted!
|A smart quote was written on a restaurant wall...|
'All our waiters are married... they know how to take orders'!