• The reason so many geniuses come from ancient times is that back then, they had nothing better to do than study their subject!
    The reason so many geniuses come from ancient times is that back then, they had nothing better to do than study their subject!
  • Your parents told you to go to bed early when you were young not because you were tired because they were tired of you!
    Your parents told you to go to bed early when you were young not because you were tired because they were tired of you!
  • As we get older, birthday parties are less about presents and more about presence!
    As we get older, birthday parties are less about presents and more about presence!
  • Whoever said that your biggest critic is yourself is obviously unmarried!
    Whoever said that your biggest critic is yourself is obviously unmarried!
  • A guy just knocked on my door and asked who my energy supplier was.<br/>
Apparently Red Bull wasn't the answer he was looking for!
    A guy just knocked on my door and asked who my energy supplier was.
    Apparently Red Bull wasn't the answer he was looking for!
  • Is stay-at-home getting you down?<br/>
Just remember that the Rolling Stones used to move into recording studios for months at a time with nothing more than 10 cases of tequila, 10 cases of rum, 50 cases of Jack Daniels, 50 cases of Rebel Yell, 250 cases of white wine, 125 cases of red wine, 1,000 cartons of cigarettes, a kilo of coke, a kilo of smack, and 10 keys of weed, and come out with a hit album. You must be doing something wrong!
    Is stay-at-home getting you down?
    Just remember that the Rolling Stones used to move into recording studios for months at a time with nothing more than 10 cases of tequila, 10 cases of rum, 50 cases of Jack Daniels, 50 cases of Rebel Yell, 250 cases of white wine, 125 cases of red wine, 1,000 cartons of cigarettes, a kilo of coke, a kilo of smack, and 10 keys of weed, and come out with a hit album. You must be doing something wrong!
  • I want rich people's problems.<br/>
Like where to park my yacht!
    I want rich people's problems.
    Like where to park my yacht!
  • Stupidity doesn't grow in a vacuum. It needs love and nurturing and affirmation from generations of like-minded idiots!
    Stupidity doesn't grow in a vacuum. It needs love and nurturing and affirmation from generations of like-minded idiots!
  • Boss: You can't come to the office drunk.<br/>
Mallu Employee: Bud Wei Ser?
    Boss: You can't come to the office drunk.
    Mallu Employee: Bud Wei Ser?
  • Woh Paas Se Guzarti Hai To Dil Mehak Jata Hai;<br/>
Pehle Perfume Ki Khushbu Aati Thi Ab Sanitizer Mehakta Hai!
    Woh Paas Se Guzarti Hai To Dil Mehak Jata Hai;
    Pehle Perfume Ki Khushbu Aati Thi Ab Sanitizer Mehakta Hai!