• What is unconditional love?<br/>
I looked at my Pizza!
    What is unconditional love?
    I looked at my Pizza!
  • Being healthy is the slowest possible way of dying!
    Being healthy is the slowest possible way of dying!
  • According to scientists, your body sloughs all of your cells about every seven years.<br/>
After looking in the mirror again, I'm not impressed with the makeover!
    According to scientists, your body sloughs all of your cells about every seven years.
    After looking in the mirror again, I'm not impressed with the makeover!
  • Sometimes I wish that mosquitoes should suck fat instead of blood!
    Sometimes I wish that mosquitoes should suck fat instead of blood!
  • I would like to go on a diet, but I'm afraid my brain will get thinner and I will become narrow-minded.<br/>
So I dropped the idea!
    I would like to go on a diet, but I'm afraid my brain will get thinner and I will become narrow-minded.
    So I dropped the idea!
  • Telling people I'm on a diet to prepare for a movie role because that sounds way better than `my wife is not letting me eat burgers`!
    Telling people I'm on a diet to prepare for a movie role because that sounds way better than "my wife is not letting me eat burgers"!
  • I have started losing my winter fat.<br/>
And now I'll have spring rolls!
    I have started losing my winter fat.
    And now I'll have spring rolls!
  • The hardest part of my diet is watching my friends eat!
    The hardest part of my diet is watching my friends eat!
  • I hate when I finish two cheeseburgers, fries, and an apple pie...<br/>
then remember I was supposed to eat a handful of almonds!
    I hate when I finish two cheeseburgers, fries, and an apple pie...
    then remember I was supposed to eat a handful of almonds!
  • Working out sucks but the results are awesome. Being lazy is awesome but the results suck!
    Working out sucks but the results are awesome. Being lazy is awesome but the results suck!