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If someone doesn't text you back within an hour or two... they are ignoring you.
No one is without their phone for hours! -
You know you are ugly when the only compliment you ever get is about your eyes or your hair! -
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once! -
This morning I called my mom by 'birth giver' and she replied 'yes financial drain'! -
You know you're ugly when a boiling kettle won't even give you a whistle! -
Remember you're someone's reason to smile... because you're a joke! -
Calling you an idiot will be an insult to stupid people! -
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world! -
You remind me that a Thermometer is not the only thing that gets a DEGREE without having a BRAIN! -
Don't you hate it when someone says `Omg we're practically twins!` but they're really ugly?
I'm sorry, I'll stop doing that!