|If someone doesn't text you back within an hour or two... they are ignoring you. |
No one is without their phone for hours!
|You know you are ugly when the only compliment you ever get is about your eyes or your hair!|
|Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once!|
|This morning I called my mom by 'birth giver' and she replied 'yes financial drain'!|
|You know you're ugly when a boiling kettle won't even give you a whistle!|
|Remember you're someone's reason to smile... because you're a joke!|
|Calling you an idiot will be an insult to stupid people!|
|If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world!|
|You remind me that a Thermometer is not the only thing that gets a DEGREE without having a BRAIN!|
|Don't you hate it when someone says `Omg we're practically twins!` but they're really ugly? |
I'm sorry, I'll stop doing that!