• Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something!
    Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something!
  • Nothing puts you in a bad mood like someone asking why you're in such a bad mood!
    Nothing puts you in a bad mood like someone asking why you're in such a bad mood!
  • If you see me talking to myself, do not disturb, I'm having a staff meeting!
    If you see me talking to myself, do not disturb, I'm having a staff meeting!
  • Being negative is great! You're either always right or pleasantly surprised!
    Being negative is great! You're either always right or pleasantly surprised!
  • On my tombstone I want it to say:<br/>
What a terrible place to end up for a guy who hates the outdoors!
    On my tombstone I want it to say:
    What a terrible place to end up for a guy who hates the outdoors!
  • The age when you are most useless (0-4 yo) is also the age when you get the most compliments!
    The age when you are most useless (0-4 yo) is also the age when you get the most compliments!
  • Monopoly is so realistic that only one person can have fun!
    Monopoly is so realistic that only one person can have fun!
  • People who can fall asleep quickly freaks me out.<br/>
I mean don't they have thoughts?
    People who can fall asleep quickly freaks me out.
    I mean don't they have thoughts?
  • Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles!
    Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles!
  • Laugh at your problems; Everybody else does!
    Laugh at your problems; Everybody else does!