|Out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape.|
I do at least 463 eye rolls a day!
|The only thing that's upgrading in my life every year is the software I use!|
|Do you realise when you take the bus, the bus is actually taking you!|
|My New Years resolution for 2018 is to stop procrastinating!|
|When I try to wake up = I want to sleep again|
When I try to go to bed = I'm wide awake!
|My cellphone is basically just a clock sitting in my pocket because nobody contacts me!|
|These days, we wake up and look to charge our phones before we charge ourselves!|
A place to pretend you're someone you're not to impress strangers you don't even know!
|The fact there are imaginary numbers in Maths is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry!|
|I can't believe there's only one month left in 2017... time flies when your life is falling apart!|