• Top 3 situations that require witnesses:<br/><br/>

1) Accident<br/>
2) Murder<br/>
3) Marriage<br/><br/>

Need I say more?
    Top 3 situations that require witnesses:

    1) Accident
    2) Murder
    3) Marriage

    Need I say more?
  • When my wife stops talking to me, I silently go to the kitchen and tighten all the lids.<br/>
Checkmate!
    When my wife stops talking to me, I silently go to the kitchen and tighten all the lids.
    Checkmate!
  • A husband is someone who carries the picture of his wife in the wallet where his money used to be!
    A husband is someone who carries the picture of his wife in the wallet where his money used to be!
  • I was born to be wild. But only until 6 PM. That's when I return home from work!
    I was born to be wild. But only until 6 PM. That's when I return home from work!
  • Guaranteed things in life:<br/>

1. Sunrise<br/>
2. Sunset<br/>
3. My wife pulling the handle of the car door at the same time I try to unlock it!
    Guaranteed things in life:
    1. Sunrise
    2. Sunset
    3. My wife pulling the handle of the car door at the same time I try to unlock it!
  • Pro Tip:<br/>
Your wife won't start an argument with you if you're cleaning the house or doing the dishes!
    Pro Tip:
    Your wife won't start an argument with you if you're cleaning the house or doing the dishes!
  • I'm worried, guys. My wife hasn't yet told me what my new year resolutions are!
    I'm worried, guys. My wife hasn't yet told me what my new year resolutions are!
  • Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. <br/>
I asked my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy!
    Getting married is easy, staying married is hard.
    I asked my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy!
  • Wife: I want equal rights.<br/>
Husband: Then you have to return some rights to me!
    Wife: I want equal rights.
    Husband: Then you have to return some rights to me!
  • Feeling adventurous?<br/><br/>

Next time your wife calls you, reject the call and text her `He's busy`. And then turn off your mobile.
<br/><br/>
All the best!
    Feeling adventurous?

    Next time your wife calls you, reject the call and text her "He's busy". And then turn off your mobile.

    All the best!