|At Cinema Hall:|
Security: Flag Kyon Andar Lekar Ja Rahe Ho?
Santa: Jab National Anthem Bajega Tab Lehraunga... Full Patriotic Wali Feeling Aayegi!
|Officer: You were speeding.|
Santa: I am trying to keep up with traffic.
Officer: There Is no traffic.
Santa: I am really far behind!
|Santa: My wife takes care of me like a Rupees 2000 note.|
Banta: Wow, that's really very respectful.
Santa: Yeah, she shouts at me "I can neither change you nor throw you"!
|Doctor: You can only have clear liquids after 7 PM.|
Santa: Yeah sure, no problem.
Doctor: Not white wine.
|Santa: With your current account balance, which Apple product can you buy?|
Banta: Apple Juice!
|Jeeto: I'm heading to the store. Do you want anything?|
Santa: A sense of meaning and purpose in my life.
Jeeto: Sure. I will get the beer!
|A traffic cop stopped Santa for talking on the mobile while driving.|
Santa: You can't fine me for talking on the mobile while driving.
Santa: Because it's my wife... I was only listening!
|Banta: What is the technical difference between Welding and Wedding?|
Santa: Not much, both are joints, in a way... In Welding, there are sparks first and bonding forever, whereas in Wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever!
|Santa: The iPhone 7 is water-resistant, has stereo sound and a better camera but it doesn't have that one feature that I want.|
Banta: And what is that?
|Santa went to Police Station to report his neighbour's missing wife.|
Police: Why are you complaining about your neighbour's missing wife?
Santa: I can't tolerate that guy's happiness. He celebrates every day!