• If your payment is pending with your female client text her `send dues`. Chances are that you may get lucky if she misreads it!
    If your payment is pending with your female client text her "send dues". Chances are that you may get lucky if she misreads it!
  • Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are!
    Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are!
  • An Australian asked a woman whether she would have sex with him. She refused.<br/>
`In that case, do you mind lying down while I have some?`
    An Australian asked a woman whether she would have sex with him. She refused.
    "In that case, do you mind lying down while I have some?"
  • A drunken while kissing his girlfriend, `Darling your lips are very salty.` <br/>
Girl: Stupid stand up!
    A drunken while kissing his girlfriend, "Darling your lips are very salty."
    Girl: Stupid stand up!
  • After having sex with a girl, there's nothing worse than looking down to see a split, leaking condom hanging off the end of your dick, particularly when you weren't wearing one to start with!
    After having sex with a girl, there's nothing worse than looking down to see a split, leaking condom hanging off the end of your dick, particularly when you weren't wearing one to start with!
  • Women just don't like me.<br/>
When I called one of those phone sex lines, the woman said she had a headache!
    Women just don't like me.
    When I called one of those phone sex lines, the woman said she had a headache!
  • Dog: I am man's best friend.<br/>
Cat: I am man's best friend.<br/>
Dog: He even named one of his teeth (canine) after me.<br/>
Cat: Oh yeah? You're so not going to win this one!
    Dog: I am man's best friend.
    Cat: I am man's best friend.
    Dog: He even named one of his teeth (canine) after me.
    Cat: Oh yeah? You're so not going to win this one!
  • I believe in love at first sight but cheap people call it...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
Erection!
    I believe in love at first sight but cheap people call it...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Erection!
  • Arthritis is the cruelest disease of all.<br/>
It makes a lot of your parts stiff except the one you want!
    Arthritis is the cruelest disease of all.
    It makes a lot of your parts stiff except the one you want!
  • Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy!
    Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy!