• On the 1st night after marriage:<br />
Wife: Please, let's spend our 1st night 'Understanding' each other.<br />
Husband: Darling, something 'Under' is already 'Standing' for you!

Men will be MEN.
    On the 1st night after marriage:
    Wife: Please, let's spend our 1st night 'Understanding' each other.
    Husband: Darling, something 'Under' is already 'Standing' for you! Men will be MEN.
  • How do you know when your wife is really dead?<br/>
Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger!
    How do you know when your wife is really dead?
    Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger!
  • My wife suggested we have coffee at home to save money. If she's really serious about saving money, she should give me sex at home!
    My wife suggested we have coffee at home to save money. If she's really serious about saving money, she should give me sex at home!
  • If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?<br />
Divorce proceedings, most likely!
    If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
    Divorce proceedings, most likely!
  • What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?<br />
Marriage!
    What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
    Marriage!
  • Wife: Whenever I sing classical why do you go and stand in the balcony.<br />
Husband: To ensure that our neighbours don't think I'm fucking you forcefully!
    Wife: Whenever I sing classical why do you go and stand in the balcony.
    Husband: To ensure that our neighbours don't think I'm fucking you forcefully!
  • Newly weds sleep - LIPS to LIPS!<br />
Old ones - HIPS to HIPS!
    Newly weds sleep - LIPS to LIPS!
    Old ones - HIPS to HIPS!
  • My smart phone just auto-corrected `fuck you` to `whatever you say, honey`!
    My smart phone just auto-corrected "fuck you" to "whatever you say, honey"!
  • The wife comes back home from the doctor and says to her husband, `Honey, I have a sad news - the gynecologist told me not have sex for three weeks`.<br />
Husband: And what the dentist say?
    The wife comes back home from the doctor and says to her husband, "Honey, I have a sad news - the gynecologist told me not have sex for three weeks".
    Husband: And what the dentist say?
  • One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time, I take a pill, my wife gets a headache!
    One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time, I take a pill, my wife gets a headache!