|Principal: Keep your son under proper control.|
Santa: What happened, sir?
Principal: In the sex column, he writes - never got an opportunity!
|Santa: I was screwing my wife last night and she looked back and said, `I'm feeling kinky! Turn off the light and stick it in my ass!`|
Santa: As soon as I did, she screamed!
Santa: I guess maybe next time I should wait for the bulb to cool down first!
|Neighbour: Do you have some oil?|
Santa: No, but you can use Vaseline.
Neighbour: I am asking for the cooking oil!
|Santa: You know Viagra is like Disneyworld?|
Banta: Why do you think that?
Santa: Because you have to wait an hour for a three-minute ride!
|Border Par Jung Shuru Ho Gayi|
Santa: Major Sahab Main Dushmano Ki Maa Chod Dunga.
Major: Bhosdike, Dushman Marne Hai, Paida Nahi Karne!
|Santa: Last night my wife and I reached the height of sexual compatibility.|
Santa: We both had a headache!
|Banta: During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles. Santa: Who the hell runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?|
|Santa walked into a newspaper office with an ad saying:
'Man seeks woman to date.'
He was asked: "Do you want to insert it today?"
Santa: "Sure, but I can't write that in the ad, can I?
|Banta: What's common between porn and motivational quotes?|
Santa: Both inspire you to do things that are practically not feasible.
|Banta: Why are you so tense?
Santa: My wife needs some or the other reason for fighting.
Banta: Why what happened?
Santa: We both were excited and about to start having sex. She removed her top and jeans... I just asked why are you wearing your sister's bra... She started fighting!