• My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Jeff Bezos was listening!<br/>
She laughed.<br/>
I laughed.<br/>
Alexa laughed.<br/>
Siri laughed.<br/>
And Steve Jobs turned his grave!
    My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Jeff Bezos was listening!
    She laughed.
    I laughed.
    Alexa laughed.
    Siri laughed.
    And Steve Jobs turned his grave!
  • Santa walks into a bar.<br/>
He asks the barman, `How tall is a penguin?`<br/>
The barman says about three feet.<br/>
Santa, `Don't you get any penguins taller than that!`<br/>
The barman says, `Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that.`<br/>
Santa, `Oh shit, in that case, I just drove over a nun!`
    Santa walks into a bar.
    He asks the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"
    The barman says about three feet.
    Santa, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!"
    The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that."
    Santa, "Oh shit, in that case, I just drove over a nun!"
  • If a hot and beautiful girl sends you a friend request,<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
'Reject him'!
    If a hot and beautiful girl sends you a friend request,
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    'Reject him'!
  • I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. <br/>
It's all about raisin awareness!
    I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
    It's all about raisin awareness!
  • In Karnataka Assembly floor test, if both  Yeddyurappa   and Kumaraswamy   land up with equal MLAs then as per the new rules, Kumaraswamy   with more wives wins!
    In Karnataka Assembly floor test, if both Yeddyurappa and Kumaraswamy land up with equal MLAs then as per the new rules, Kumaraswamy with more wives wins!
  • Mehnat Kitni Bhi Kar Lo, Qismat Agar Kamini Hai Toh New Zealand Ban Jati Hai!
    Mehnat Kitni Bhi Kar Lo, Qismat Agar Kamini Hai Toh New Zealand Ban Jati Hai!
  • Taking inspiration from the Indian govt., even my wife has implemented GST:<br/>
'Galti Sirf Tumhari'!
    Taking inspiration from the Indian govt., even my wife has implemented GST:
    'Galti Sirf Tumhari'!
  • The nicer the house, the harder to find the kitchen trash can!
    The nicer the house, the harder to find the kitchen trash can!
  • Man: Guruji, how do I learn about my mistakes?<br/>
Guru: Identify one mistake in your wife and tell her to correct it. In response, she will help identify all your mistakes along with your family's and your friends' as well!
    Man: Guruji, how do I learn about my mistakes?
    Guru: Identify one mistake in your wife and tell her to correct it. In response, she will help identify all your mistakes along with your family's and your friends' as well!
  • World Cup finals:<br/>
Reporter: Sir, What if the number of boundaries would also have been equal for both the teams? <br/>
ICC: We would have then compared10th standard mark-sheets of both the captains and decide!<br/>
#ICCCricketWorldCup2019<br/>
#EnglandvsNewZealandFinal
    World Cup finals:
    Reporter: Sir, What if the number of boundaries would also have been equal for both the teams?
    ICC: We would have then compared10th standard mark-sheets of both the captains and decide!
    #ICCCricketWorldCup2019
    #EnglandvsNewZealandFinal