|I never drink alcohol...|
|One of the shortest wills ever read:|
Being of sound mind. I spent all my money!
|How do you comfort a grammar fanatic?|
Their, they're, there!
|Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!|
|My phone really knows me pretty well. I typed "I hate" and it automatically added "people"!|
|When I told my wife I was looking at flights on the internet, she got very excited!|
Which was odd as she's never shown an interest in darts before!
|How to make 1 crore in the stock market?|
Start with 2 crores!
|What I said: Has the dishwasher run?|
What she heard: What do you do here all day while I'm at work?
So anyway, how much chocolate cake is needed to say `I'm sorry for that thing I didn't say`!
|The doctor told me to relax and then freaked out when I took off my pants In his office.|
Make up your mind, doc!
|When you're in a bad mood, every bump on the road feels like a personal attack!|