|The past of eat is ate;|
The future of ate is weight;
And the funniest part is that people realize it when it's too late!
|Boy: Can I buy you a drink?|
Girl: Sure, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
|My friends use to say, "There's plenty of fish in the sea".|
But looks like I ignored their advice and ended up marrying a whale!
|I once tried to quickly make a square but I ended up with an octagon...|
That's what happens when you cut corners!
|Superman would just be an average dude, with an average job, on his home planet!|
|Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it but because you paid for it!|
|Birthdays don't make you feel older. What makes you feel older is signing up for a new account on a website, and scrolling further and further down each time to find your birth year!|
|Some say you are ugly, Some say you are jungly, Some say you are pugly, but I say you are lovely!|
|Don't worry about what they think. Worry about what you think.|
You have to live with your choices. They don't!
|Don't be afraid to change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something even better.|