• The biggest wall you've got to climb is the one you build in your mind!
    The biggest wall you've got to climb is the one you build in your mind!
  • The only thing you can really control is how you react to things out of your control!
    The only thing you can really control is how you react to things out of your control!
  • Do you know what rhymes with Friday?<br/>
Alcohol!
    Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
    Alcohol!
  • God: Welcome to Heaven! Hope you had a good life!<br/>
Guy: Woh Sab Theek Hai, Yeh 'Marriages are made in Heaven team' Kaun Handle Karta Hai, Usse Baat Karni Hai!
    God: Welcome to Heaven! Hope you had a good life!
    Guy: Woh Sab Theek Hai, Yeh 'Marriages are made in Heaven team' Kaun Handle Karta Hai, Usse Baat Karni Hai!
  • Boss: My door is always open.<br/>
Me: I know and it makes it really hard for me to leave work early!
    Boss: My door is always open.
    Me: I know and it makes it really hard for me to leave work early!
  • I drink very little.<br/>
And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
    I drink very little.
    And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
  • I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.<br/>
I got served straight away!
    I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.
    I got served straight away!
  • I had oatmeal and raisins for lunch.<br/>
Just because they were baked into 8 cookies doesn't make me a bad person!
    I had oatmeal and raisins for lunch.
    Just because they were baked into 8 cookies doesn't make me a bad person!
  • Sometimes I feel if Elon Musk really wants to help humanity he should invent a way to punch people in the face through a smartphone screen!
    Sometimes I feel if Elon Musk really wants to help humanity he should invent a way to punch people in the face through a smartphone screen!
  • A relationship is not a test so why cheat?
    A relationship is not a test so why cheat?