• Do you know what rhymes with Friday?<br/>
Alcohol!
    Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
    Alcohol!
  • God: Welcome to Heaven! Hope you had a good life!<br/>
Guy: Woh Sab Theek Hai, Yeh 'Marriages are made in Heaven team' Kaun Handle Karta Hai, Usse Baat Karni Hai!
    God: Welcome to Heaven! Hope you had a good life!
    Guy: Woh Sab Theek Hai, Yeh 'Marriages are made in Heaven team' Kaun Handle Karta Hai, Usse Baat Karni Hai!
  • Boss: My door is always open.<br/>
Me: I know and it makes it really hard for me to leave work early!
    Boss: My door is always open.
    Me: I know and it makes it really hard for me to leave work early!
  • I drink very little.<br/>
And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
    I drink very little.
    And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
  • I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.<br/>
I got served straight away!
    I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.
    I got served straight away!
  • I had oatmeal and raisins for lunch.<br/>
Just because they were baked into 8 cookies doesn't make me a bad person!
    I had oatmeal and raisins for lunch.
    Just because they were baked into 8 cookies doesn't make me a bad person!
  • Sometimes I feel if Elon Musk really wants to help humanity he should invent a way to punch people in the face through a smartphone screen!
    Sometimes I feel if Elon Musk really wants to help humanity he should invent a way to punch people in the face through a smartphone screen!
  • A relationship is not a test so why cheat?
    A relationship is not a test so why cheat?
  • Live simply.<br/>
Love generously.<br/>
Speak truthfully.<br/>
Pray daily.<br/>
Leave everything else to God.<br/>
Good Morning!
    Live simply.
    Love generously.
    Speak truthfully.
    Pray daily.
    Leave everything else to God.
    Good Morning!
  • My wife tripped and spilled the laundry basket all over the floor.<br/>
I watched it all unfold!
    My wife tripped and spilled the laundry basket all over the floor.
    I watched it all unfold!