|Do you know what rhymes with Friday?|
|God: Welcome to Heaven! Hope you had a good life!|
Guy: Woh Sab Theek Hai, Yeh 'Marriages are made in Heaven team' Kaun Handle Karta Hai, Usse Baat Karni Hai!
|Boss: My door is always open.|
Me: I know and it makes it really hard for me to leave work early!
|I drink very little.|
And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
|I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.|
I got served straight away!
|I had oatmeal and raisins for lunch.|
Just because they were baked into 8 cookies doesn't make me a bad person!
|Sometimes I feel if Elon Musk really wants to help humanity he should invent a way to punch people in the face through a smartphone screen!|
|A relationship is not a test so why cheat?|
Leave everything else to God.
|My wife tripped and spilled the laundry basket all over the floor.|
I watched it all unfold!