|Before you start popping the bubble wrap from your next Amazon package... remember that air in it is from China!|
|My wife loves me so much.|
First, she renewed my life insurance policy for a higher sum and then bought me a solo vacation package to China!
|What's the difference between Congress and a Toilet?|
A toilet has a seat!
|What did I learn today?|
Every invention takes time to develop and to work out the kinks. I mean, even Kleenex was nothing to sneeze at in the beginning!
|I have reached that stage of my life where I am not bothered about:|
Kiss day, or even Valentine's day.
The only day that effects me is...
|When everything seems dark, consider... you may be the light!|
It is perfectly acceptable to cry over spilled beer!
|Marriage is so fun that I had to apologize for something I did in my wife's dream!|
|Today I realized that erasers slowly sacrifice their lives for our mistakes!|
|Being an introvert allows me to care about humanity and despise human beings, simultaneously!|