|Mom: Do you use drugs?|
Daughter: No mom, why?
Mom: Because you are chopping onion with your bank card!
|I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothes.|
If I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with!
|Police Officer: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?|
Man: The thief was spending less than my wife.
Police Officer: Then... why are you reporting it now?
Man: I think thief's wife has started using it now!
|There are 2 types of horizontally-challenged girls:|
1. OMG! I'm looking so fat, I need dieting and gym.
2. Haan Toh Moti Hun, Kisi Ke Baap Ka Nahi Khaati Main!
|Don't wait till you are on your deathbed to tell people how you feel.|
You might be eventually too weak to hold up your middle finger!
|Everything happens for a reason. Don't question it, trust it!|
|The best translator is the one who can translate someone's silence into a smile.|
Good morning and have a great day!
|Friends: Goa Ka Plan Banaye?|
Me: Bhai, Jab Cancel Hi Karna Hai Toh Switzerland Ka Banate Hain!
|Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup!|
|Others life - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.|
My life - Kabhi Gham, Kabhi Bahut Zyada Gham aur Kabhi-Kabhi Toh Hadd Se Zyada Gham!