• Dreams are renewable no matter what your age!
    Dreams are renewable no matter what your age!
  • Newbie: Do you think my golf is improving?<br/>
Caddie: Yes, you miss a lot closer now!
    Newbie: Do you think my golf is improving?
    Caddie: Yes, you miss a lot closer now!
  • Me: I wish I could go back in time and live with my parents.<br/>
Wife: Aww, so cute. You miss them right?<br/>
Me: I miss them. And they'd pay off all my bills too!
    Me: I wish I could go back in time and live with my parents.
    Wife: Aww, so cute. You miss them right?
    Me: I miss them. And they'd pay off all my bills too!
  • My girlfriend and I are having some communication issues recently.<br/>
Whenever I try to call her, her husband picks up the phone!
    My girlfriend and I are having some communication issues recently.
    Whenever I try to call her, her husband picks up the phone!
  • The law of averages is all bullshit.<br/>
I've been married for fifteen years and I haven't won an argument with my wife even once!
    The law of averages is all bullshit.
    I've been married for fifteen years and I haven't won an argument with my wife even once!
  • If you want to lose weight, you don't need exercise or diet. Just fall in love with the wrong person!
    If you want to lose weight, you don't need exercise or diet. Just fall in love with the wrong person!
  • The reason so many geniuses come from ancient times is that back then, they had nothing better to do than study their subject!
    The reason so many geniuses come from ancient times is that back then, they had nothing better to do than study their subject!
  • Your parents told you to go to bed early when you were young not because you were tired because they were tired of you!
    Your parents told you to go to bed early when you were young not because you were tired because they were tired of you!
  • As we get older, birthday parties are less about presents and more about presence!
    As we get older, birthday parties are less about presents and more about presence!
  • There is an ancient invention, still used in some parts of the world today, that allows people to see through walls. What is it?
    There is an ancient invention, still used in some parts of the world today, that allows people to see through walls. What is it?