|If there was an award for laziness...|
I'd probably send someone to pick it up for me!
|There exists a paradise where...|
All wives are lovely and all husbands are loving,
All parents are respected and all children are angels,
All holidays are relaxing and all vacations are amazing,
All birthdays are celebrated and all anniversaries are rejoiced.
That place is called... Facebook!
|My grandad always said, "Don't believe everything you hear."|
Should I believe him or not?
|The average person's outlook on life would probably improve dramatically if three day weekends become compulsory!|
|Does it count as saving someone's life if you just refrain from killing them?|
|Don't worry if people don't like you. Most people are struggling to like themselves!|
|Pappu: I fell off a 50 ft. ladder yesterday.|
Bunty: But you seem fine.
Pappu: Yeah, luckily I was on the bottom step!
|Zomato Delivery Guy: Sir, this is not right.|
Customer: What happened?
Zomato Delivery Guy: Aap Tuesday Ko Non-Veg Kyon Order Karte Ho, Main Tuesday Ko Non-Veg Nahi Khaata!
|Impulsive people act too much without ever thinking, and anxious people think too much without ever acting!|
|How do people get the right drunk? I'm either really sober and bored or smashed out my face and ruining my life!|