|Sleep is like a drug addiction. We physically depend on it and become angry and even depressed when we don't get enough of it!|
|The funeral director at cemetery use to tie the shoelaces together of the deceased.|
Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.
|Watson: Why are you painting the front door yellow?|
Holmes: A lemon entry, my dear Watson!
|Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically;|
Whereas guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it!
|No matter how far you go in the wrong direction, there's always a chance to turn your life around!|
|Don't lose Hope. You never know what tomorrow might bring.|
Good Morning and have a great day!
|Girl: What is your idea of a perfect date?|
Me: DD-MM-YYYY, rest formats are confusing.
I don't know why she has blocked me!
|I'm reading a horror story in Braille. |
Something bad is about to happen...
I can feel it!
|Married women should stop posting beautiful pictures of themselves.|
Why advertise goods that are no longer in stock?
|The internet almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery!|