• Sleep is like a drug addiction. We physically depend on it and become angry and even depressed when we don't get enough of it!
    Sleep is like a drug addiction. We physically depend on it and become angry and even depressed when we don't get enough of it!
  • The funeral director at cemetery use to tie the shoelaces together of the deceased.<br/>
Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.
    The funeral director at cemetery use to tie the shoelaces together of the deceased.
    Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.
  • Watson: Why are you painting the front door yellow?<br/>
Holmes: A lemon entry, my dear Watson!
    Watson: Why are you painting the front door yellow?
    Holmes: A lemon entry, my dear Watson!
  • Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically;<br/>
Whereas guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it!
    Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically;
    Whereas guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it!
  • No matter how far you go in the wrong direction, there's always a chance to turn your life around!
    No matter how far you go in the wrong direction, there's always a chance to turn your life around!
  • Don't lose Hope. You never know what tomorrow might bring.<br/>
Good Morning and have a great day!
    Don't lose Hope. You never know what tomorrow might bring.
    Good Morning and have a great day!
  • Girl: What is your idea of a perfect date?<br/>
Me: DD-MM-YYYY, rest formats are confusing.<br/>
I don't know why she has blocked me!
    Girl: What is your idea of a perfect date?
    Me: DD-MM-YYYY, rest formats are confusing.
    I don't know why she has blocked me!
  • I'm reading a horror story in Braille. <br/>
Something bad is about to happen...<br/> 
I can feel it!
    I'm reading a horror story in Braille.
    Something bad is about to happen...
    I can feel it!
  • Married women should stop posting beautiful pictures of themselves.<br/>
Why advertise goods that are no longer in stock?
    Married women should stop posting beautiful pictures of themselves.
    Why advertise goods that are no longer in stock?
  • The internet almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery!
    The internet almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery!