• Some of those fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner's high. I just have to bend over and tie my shoes!
    Some of those fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner's high. I just have to bend over and tie my shoes!
  • It's a good thing farts aren't contagious like yawns. That would be bad!
    It's a good thing farts aren't contagious like yawns. That would be bad!
  • I am a perfect man without a single flaw. At least on my resume!
    I am a perfect man without a single flaw. At least on my resume!
  • A body at rest will continue to be at rest... until your wife notices and finds some work for him!
    A body at rest will continue to be at rest... until your wife notices and finds some work for him!
  • For a procrastinator, deadlines are both the most stressful, and the most helpful thing in life!
    For a procrastinator, deadlines are both the most stressful, and the most helpful thing in life!
  • Who says that this generation doesn't read.<br/>
People today actually do more reading than any other generation in human history, thanks to phones and the internet!
    Who says that this generation doesn't read.
    People today actually do more reading than any other generation in human history, thanks to phones and the internet!
  • Nowadays, it's easier to get good internet connection than a good human connection!
    Nowadays, it's easier to get good internet connection than a good human connection!
  • You have to be driven if you want to make it far in life. You can't sit back and expect great things to happen to you!
    You have to be driven if you want to make it far in life. You can't sit back and expect great things to happen to you!
  • Never give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there are love and inspiration, you can never go wrong.<br/>
Good Morning!
    Never give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there are love and inspiration, you can never go wrong.
    Good Morning!
  • Jeeto: What would you do if we could live forever?<br/>
Santa: Shoot myself!
    Jeeto: What would you do if we could live forever?
    Santa: Shoot myself!