|Some of those fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner's high. I just have to bend over and tie my shoes!|
|It's a good thing farts aren't contagious like yawns. That would be bad!|
|I am a perfect man without a single flaw. At least on my resume!|
|A body at rest will continue to be at rest... until your wife notices and finds some work for him!|
|For a procrastinator, deadlines are both the most stressful, and the most helpful thing in life!|
|Who says that this generation doesn't read.|
People today actually do more reading than any other generation in human history, thanks to phones and the internet!
|Nowadays, it's easier to get good internet connection than a good human connection!|
|You have to be driven if you want to make it far in life. You can't sit back and expect great things to happen to you!|
|Never give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there are love and inspiration, you can never go wrong.|
|Jeeto: What would you do if we could live forever?|
Santa: Shoot myself!