• I'm at an age where I need at least 3 weeks of advance notice before doing anything spontaneous!
    I'm at an age where I need at least 3 weeks of advance notice before doing anything spontaneous!
  • Last night my husband had a bad dream and smacked me in the face. He was really sorry, but anyway I'll keep you posted on funeral arrangements!
    Last night my husband had a bad dream and smacked me in the face. He was really sorry, but anyway I'll keep you posted on funeral arrangements!
  • Farmer: I love my job.<br/>
Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.<br/>
Farmer: What did you say to me?<br/>
Wife: You herd!
    Farmer: I love my job.
    Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.
    Farmer: What did you say to me?
    Wife: You herd!
  • Good whiskey makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place!
    Good whiskey makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place!
  • If Amazon starts matrimonial services, they will soon become the No.1 site in the world...<br/>
because they have a 30-day return policy no questions asked!
    If Amazon starts matrimonial services, they will soon become the No.1 site in the world...
    because they have a 30-day return policy no questions asked!
  • They say follow your heart.<br/>
I followed my heart and it led me to the wine shop!
    They say follow your heart.
    I followed my heart and it led me to the wine shop!
  • Words for a long, happy marriage:<br/>
Yes Dear<br/>
I'm sorry<br/>
It's my fault
    Words for a long, happy marriage:
    Yes Dear
    I'm sorry
    It's my fault
  • People say the nicest things during first dates and funerals!
    People say the nicest things during first dates and funerals!
  • Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something!
    Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something!
  • Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed?<br/>
How could anyone stoop so low?
    Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed?
    How could anyone stoop so low?