• How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, `A man once told me...`
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
  • It's 2019, and we still don't have a button on the TV that makes the remote beep to find it easier!
    It's 2019, and we still don't have a button on the TV that makes the remote beep to find it easier!
  • May your success soar high like a kite;<br/>
Your sorrows burn in a bonfire;<br/>
You experience a very sweet life like Rewris;<br/>
And may God always protect you in a shell-like peanut!<br/>
Wish you all a joyous Lohri!
    May your success soar high like a kite;
    Your sorrows burn in a bonfire;
    You experience a very sweet life like Rewris;
    And may God always protect you in a shell-like peanut!
    Wish you all a joyous Lohri!
  • You're not supposed to win or lose arguments. You're supposed to reach a mutual understanding and agreement. Otherwise, you both lose!
    You're not supposed to win or lose arguments. You're supposed to reach a mutual understanding and agreement. Otherwise, you both lose!
  • Struggles are required in order to survive in life, because in order to stand up, you gotta know what falling down is like!
    Struggles are required in order to survive in life, because in order to stand up, you gotta know what falling down is like!
  • Your past is done, so forget it, your future is yet to come, so dream it, but your present is now, so live it with no regrets.<br/>
Good Morning!
    Your past is done, so forget it, your future is yet to come, so dream it, but your present is now, so live it with no regrets.
    Good Morning!
  • Husband: I thought you were dieting?<br/>
Wife: I am.<br/>
Husband: You just ate 6 Oreos.<br/>
Wife: Yes, but I want to eat 12. See dieting!
    Husband: I thought you were dieting?
    Wife: I am.
    Husband: You just ate 6 Oreos.
    Wife: Yes, but I want to eat 12. See dieting!
  • Girl: Just because I said I can't date you doesn't mean the conversation is over.<br/>
Boy: What more is to discuss, Global Warming?
    Girl: Just because I said I can't date you doesn't mean the conversation is over.
    Boy: What more is to discuss, Global Warming?
  • Ladies, if he<br/>
Remembers your birthday<br/>
Knows all your secrets<br/>
Spends a lot of time with you<br/>
Knows all your friends<br/>
That's not your man. That's Mark Zuckerberg!
    Ladies, if he
    Remembers your birthday
    Knows all your secrets
    Spends a lot of time with you
    Knows all your friends
    That's not your man. That's Mark Zuckerberg!
  • Eat like no one is going to see you naked!
    Eat like no one is going to see you naked!