|In Delhi, your number plate is the new cleavage!|
Everyone is checking it out!
|Jeeto: What do you want for your birthday?|
Santa: Just let me win an argument for once!
|Aamir: You know Kiran, seven terrorists killed in Pathankot.|
Kiran: Oh God, terrorists are not safe in this country. Let's pack our bags!
|A new teacher joins school. She finds two boys similar in appearance.|
Teacher asks: Twins?
Boys: No, 'Neighbours'!
|In the last few days I got many wishes for new year but this one stood out.|
Here it is...
Happy New Year.
May your career soar like that of Deepika Padukone, Nitish Kumar and Sania Mirza in 2015.
May your mistakes be pardoned like Salman Khan's.
May you be heard in family and office like Arnab Goswami.
May your enemies be slaughtered like Aamir Khan and Mohan Bhagwat were in 2015.
May you travel like Narendra Modi.
May you make comebacks like Arvind Kejriwal and Yuvraj Singh.
|We don't need everything to enjoy life.|
We already have 'Life' to enjoy everything.
|Men never win an argument with their wife; and the only time they think they have, they realise the argument wasn't even yet over!|
|Bajirao Mastaani Dekh Kar Girlfriend Ne Pucha,|
"Tumhari Koi Mastaani Toh Nahi Hai Na?"
Ab Usko Kaun Samjhaye Ki Wahi Mastaani Hai... Kaashi Toh Koi Aur Hai!
|If you are feeling stressed out then make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever is bugging you!|
|Stories of great discoveries:|
Arya Bhatta to his wife: What are the chances of you letting me go out with friends on 31st night?
Wife: What do you think?
(And then Arya Bhatta discovered Zero)