|All married men say after many years of marriage:|
"Our marriage is based on trust and understanding."
She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!
|A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others!|
|Dream your sweetest dreams and may each one come true.|
Good Night and have a blissful night!
|If it weren't for Whiskey, we would have to spend winters evenings talking to our wives!|
|Interviewer: Do you think you can handle a variety of work?|
Candidate: I should be able to... I've had eight different jobs in the past three months!
|The year is going to end and the only thing I gained so far this year is weight!|
|I hate the part of the morning where I have to actually get out of bed and participate in real life!|
|You never realize how ugly you are until you have to stare at yourself in the mirror while getting a haircut for 30 minutes!|
|My wife's left me because I've eaten far too much chocolate over the Christmas period. |
I think this calls for a celebration!
|Absence speaks more than people think.|
You need to disappear for a while for people to truly appreciate your presence!