• All married men say after many years of marriage:<br/>
`Our marriage is based on trust and understanding.`<br/>
She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!
    All married men say after many years of marriage:
    "Our marriage is based on trust and understanding."
    She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!
  • A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others!
    A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others!
  • Dream your sweetest dreams and may each one come true.<br/>
Good Night and have a blissful night!
    Dream your sweetest dreams and may each one come true.
    Good Night and have a blissful night!
  • If it weren't for Whiskey, we would have to spend winters evenings talking to our wives!
    If it weren't for Whiskey, we would have to spend winters evenings talking to our wives!
  • Interviewer: Do you think you can handle a variety of work?<br/>
Candidate: I should be able to... I've had eight different jobs in the past three months!
    Interviewer: Do you think you can handle a variety of work?
    Candidate: I should be able to... I've had eight different jobs in the past three months!
  • The year is going to end and the only thing I gained so far this year is weight!
    The year is going to end and the only thing I gained so far this year is weight!
  • I hate the part of the morning where I have to actually get out of bed and participate in real life!
    I hate the part of the morning where I have to actually get out of bed and participate in real life!
  • You never realize how ugly you are until you have to stare at yourself in the mirror while getting a haircut for 30 minutes!
    You never realize how ugly you are until you have to stare at yourself in the mirror while getting a haircut for 30 minutes!
  • My wife's left me because I've eaten far too much chocolate over the Christmas period. <br/>
I think this calls for a celebration!
    My wife's left me because I've eaten far too much chocolate over the Christmas period.
    I think this calls for a celebration!
  • Absence speaks more than people think.<br/>
You need to disappear for a while for people to truly appreciate your presence!
    Absence speaks more than people think.
    You need to disappear for a while for people to truly appreciate your presence!