• Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.
    ~ Bob Hope
    Sex
  • Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.Upload to Facebook
    Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.
    ~ Bob Hope, on Golf
  • If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • My father told me all about the birds and the bees - the liar. I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • I always enjoy appearing before a British audience. Even if they don't feel like laughing, they nod their heads to show they've understood.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • The airlines are getting really security - conscious. You can still fly, but they won't tell you where you're going.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
    ~ Bob Hope
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