• You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh... it's as simple as that.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • You can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.
    You can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • Any car can be a collector car, if you collect it.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • Today is Valentine`s Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
    ~ Jay Leno
  • President Obama's response was to support some small business owners in America. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Obama's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar.
    ~ Jay Leno
  • I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it.
    ~ Jay Leno
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