• I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
    My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • I like to date school teachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    I like to date school teachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • What a kid I got! I told him about the birds and the bees, and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
    I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
    My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
    I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
    If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield