• What did I learn today?<br/>
It turns out that I'm not addicted to alcohol... I'm addicted to hangovers!
    What did I learn today?
    It turns out that I'm not addicted to alcohol... I'm addicted to hangovers!
  • Bored?<br/>
Broke?<br/>
Do you find yourself with over 35 spare hours to fill every week?<br/>
Would you like to earn hundreds of pounds every month?<br/>
Then get a job like the rest of us, you lazy twat!
    Bored?
    Broke?
    Do you find yourself with over 35 spare hours to fill every week?
    Would you like to earn hundreds of pounds every month?
    Then get a job like the rest of us, you lazy twat!
  • My wife gets annoyed if I mess with her red wine, so I've added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's Sangria than ever before!
    My wife gets annoyed if I mess with her red wine, so I've added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's Sangria than ever before!
  • I asked 100 women `What shampoo do you use whilst showering?`<br/>
98% of them asked me to get out of the shower!
    I asked 100 women "What shampoo do you use whilst showering?"
    98% of them asked me to get out of the shower!
  • There are only 3 things that always tell the truth.<br/>

1. Young Children<br/>
2. Drunks<br/>
3. Leggings
    There are only 3 things that always tell the truth.
    1. Young Children
    2. Drunks
    3. Leggings
  • When a woman says `We need to talk`.<br/>
Why is it never about sports?
    When a woman says "We need to talk".
    Why is it never about sports?
  • What do you call your mum's angry French sister? <br/>
A Croissaunt!
    What do you call your mum's angry French sister?
    A Croissaunt!
  • Whatever you sent, comes back to you ten times. It is not Karma... it is WhatsApp!
    Whatever you sent, comes back to you ten times. It is not Karma... it is WhatsApp!
  • People say life is short, but it is the longest thing we will ever experience!
    People say life is short, but it is the longest thing we will ever experience!
  • When it rains it pours. But soon, the sun shines again. Stay positive, better days are on their way!
    When it rains it pours. But soon, the sun shines again. Stay positive, better days are on their way!