|I told myself that I should stop drinking...|
but I'm not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself!
|Men are smarter than women.|
You have always heard - Intelli'Gents'!
Have you ever heard - Intelli'Ladies'?
|Me: I'm so over her.|
Vodka: No you're not, you should text her.
Vodka: Yes! 25 times!
|An important phone call is something that occurs when there's no better excuse to ignore someone!|
|My name is CASH, and I'm not available.|
Cheque De India!
|The Pope has invited our PM for tea.|
The invitation letter says - 'Chai Pe Church Aa'!
|The most common cause of stress nowadays is dealing with idiots!|
|Thank your past for all the lessons and move on.|
Have a nice weekend!
|A chemistry lab is like a big party.|
Some drop the acid while others drop the base!
|My favorite exercise is running downstairs to get some more food!|