• Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see.<br/>
That's why most women wear makeup and most men lie!
    Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see.
    That's why most women wear makeup and most men lie!
  • I don't always sleep well but when I do, it's 5 minutes before my alarm goes off!
    I don't always sleep well but when I do, it's 5 minutes before my alarm goes off!
  • Top 3 situations that require witnesses:<br/><br/>

1) Accident<br/>
2) Murder<br/>
3) Marriage<br/><br/>

Need I say more?
    Top 3 situations that require witnesses:

    1) Accident
    2) Murder
    3) Marriage

    Need I say more?
  • The fundamental difference between me and Sundar Pichai is that he works for Google and Google works for me!
    The fundamental difference between me and Sundar Pichai is that he works for Google and Google works for me!
  • Toothpaste Mein Namak Ho Gaya Purana,<br/>
Ab Kya Aapke Khaane Mein Pyaaz Hai?<br/>
#OnionPrices
    Toothpaste Mein Namak Ho Gaya Purana,
    Ab Kya Aapke Khaane Mein Pyaaz Hai?
    #OnionPrices
  • When my wife stops talking to me, I silently go to the kitchen and tighten all the lids.<br/>
Checkmate!
    When my wife stops talking to me, I silently go to the kitchen and tighten all the lids.
    Checkmate!
  • My handwriting is so bad that people think I'm a doctor!
    My handwriting is so bad that people think I'm a doctor!
  • My favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.<br/>
It is called lunch!
    My favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
    It is called lunch!
  • The human body is roughly 60% water...<br/>
So I'm not fat, I'm flooded!
    The human body is roughly 60% water...
    So I'm not fat, I'm flooded!
  • A man's face is his autobiography;<br/>
a woman's face is her fiction!
    A man's face is his autobiography;
    a woman's face is her fiction!