|Facebook is like having nosy neighbours who don't really like you.|
They just stay connected to look over your wall and see what you're doing!
All positions for stupid people in my life have been filled.
No more applicants need apply!
|What do you say when you're gonna drunk dial someone?|
|People ask me "Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent and nice."|
I always reply with "I am overqualified!"
|It caused a great deal of trouble for me last night... when my wife asked me if she is fat?|
|A wife visited 5 shops over three hours and finally selected one Saree out of 12 she had shortlisted. The husband settled the bill and commented, "Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves."|
Wife: Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally pluck the leaves Eve chose!
|Life has four pillars - Family, Kindness, Honesty, Humility... but the foundation is always Love!|
|The sign of a beautiful person is that they always see beauty in others.|
Good Morning & have a good day!
|Banta: Bro, I just left my job, I could not work for that man after what he said to me.|
Santa: What happened, what did he say?
Banta: You are fired!
|Half of the people in the world are playing Pokemon Go and using Prisma filters right now.|
The other half are making jokes on them!