• This girl I met at the bar told me `Make me laugh and I'm yours`.<br/>
So I showed her my bank balance!
    This girl I met at the bar told me "Make me laugh and I'm yours".
    So I showed her my bank balance!
  • Don't come to me with your astrology nonsense. Everyone knows it's not true.<br/>
And besides, I'm a Gemini and I don't believe in these fake things!
    Don't come to me with your astrology nonsense. Everyone knows it's not true.
    And besides, I'm a Gemini and I don't believe in these fake things!
  • Pink Ball Cricket
    Now even the females have a reason to watch cricket since now they have "Mera Wala Pink"!
  • Taking candy from a baby is seen as evil but it's actually good because candy is bad for babies!
    Taking candy from a baby is seen as evil but it's actually good because candy is bad for babies!
  • When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.<br/>
Apparently this is known as `Many Paws`!
    When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.
    Apparently this is known as "Many Paws"!
  • I had a fire evacuation training meeting this week. My boss asked, `what steps would you take in the event of a fire?`<br/>
Apparently, fast ones wasn't the answer he was looking for!
    I had a fire evacuation training meeting this week. My boss asked, `what steps would you take in the event of a fire?`
    Apparently, fast ones wasn't the answer he was looking for!
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.<br/>
She looked surprised!
    I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised!
  • So I broke my iPhone!<br/>
I stupidly asked Siri `how do I make my wife happy?` <br/>
Siri hasn't stopped talking for two weeks now!
    So I broke my iPhone!
    I stupidly asked Siri `how do I make my wife happy?`
    Siri hasn't stopped talking for two weeks now!
  • Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating!
    Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating!
  • Just place your hand over chest. Feel the beat of your own heart. Appreciate that something is there working every second of the day to keep you alive!