• Impulsive people act too much without ever thinking, and anxious people think too much without ever acting!
    Impulsive people act too much without ever thinking, and anxious people think too much without ever acting!
  • How do people get the right drunk? I'm either really sober and bored or smashed out my face and ruining my life!
    How do people get the right drunk? I'm either really sober and bored or smashed out my face and ruining my life!
  • When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail.<br/>
It heals me spiritually!
    When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail.
    It heals me spiritually!
  • Being a woman is exciting because we don't know what mood we'll be in next or for how long!
    Being a woman is exciting because we don't know what mood we'll be in next or for how long!
  • Zindagi Ki Yahi Reet Hai,<br/>
Peeth Peeche Sab Kameeney Aur Sahmne Sab Sweet Hain!
    Zindagi Ki Yahi Reet Hai,
    Peeth Peeche Sab Kameeney Aur Sahmne Sab Sweet Hain!
  • Pro Tip:<br/>
Always put your boyfriend on side of your family photo, in case you need to remove him later!
    Pro Tip:
    Always put your boyfriend on side of your family photo, in case you need to remove him later!
  • Interviewer: What is your greatest fear?<br/>
Candidate: Facing these types of questions in interviews!
    Interviewer: What is your greatest fear?
    Candidate: Facing these types of questions in interviews!
  • One of the best things about getting old is...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
knowing someone is an idiot even before he speaks!
    One of the best things about getting old is...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    knowing someone is an idiot even before he speaks!
  • After finding...<br/>
5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in a Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter!
    After finding...
    5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in a Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter!
  • If schools taught actual life skills, like how a car works, or how to cook, or how to raise a kid, or how love works whether it be friendship or relationship, we'd be living a better life!
    If schools taught actual life skills, like how a car works, or how to cook, or how to raise a kid, or how love works whether it be friendship or relationship, we'd be living a better life!