|This girl I met at the bar told me "Make me laugh and I'm yours".|
So I showed her my bank balance!
|Don't come to me with your astrology nonsense. Everyone knows it's not true.|
And besides, I'm a Gemini and I don't believe in these fake things!
|Pink Ball Cricket|
Now even the females have a reason to watch cricket since now they have "Mera Wala Pink"!
|Taking candy from a baby is seen as evil but it's actually good because candy is bad for babies!|
|When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.|
Apparently this is known as "Many Paws"!
|I had a fire evacuation training meeting this week. My boss asked, `what steps would you take in the event of a fire?`|
Apparently, fast ones wasn't the answer he was looking for!
|I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.|
She looked surprised!
|So I broke my iPhone!|
I stupidly asked Siri `how do I make my wife happy?`
Siri hasn't stopped talking for two weeks now!
|Feeling a crunch in a non-crunchy food is one of the most terrifying experiences you can have while eating!|
|Just place your hand over chest. Feel the beat of your own heart. Appreciate that something is there working every second of the day to keep you alive!|