• Don't drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault!
    Don't drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault!
  • Pro Tip:<br/>
Drink until she's beautiful, but stop before you ask her to marry you!
    Pro Tip:
    Drink until she's beautiful, but stop before you ask her to marry you!
  • Listen drunk me & sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you need to take it up with drunk me.<br/>
Don't come at sober me because sober me wasn't there and don't know what happened between y'all!
    Listen drunk me & sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you need to take it up with drunk me.
    Don't come at sober me because sober me wasn't there and don't know what happened between y'all!
  • Surround yourself with people who have issues.<br/>
Because these people always have alcohol!
    Surround yourself with people who have issues.
    Because these people always have alcohol!
  • If by bar-hopping you mean 'going to the garage fridge for a beer when you've run out inside' then yes, I still go bar-hopping!
    If by bar-hopping you mean 'going to the garage fridge for a beer when you've run out inside' then yes, I still go bar-hopping!
  • You're all invited to my recycling party on Saturday at 8 PM.<br/>
Bring a bottle or a few cans!
    You're all invited to my recycling party on Saturday at 8 PM.
    Bring a bottle or a few cans!
  • Whisky is a brilliant invention, one double and you start feeling single again!
    Whisky is a brilliant invention, one double and you start feeling single again!
  • Drinking Alcohol is great for my health.<br/>
It takes me three times as long to walk home from the pub!
    Drinking Alcohol is great for my health.
    It takes me three times as long to walk home from the pub!
  • Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter.<br/>
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It doesn't do anything I just like butter!
    Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter.
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    It doesn't do anything I just like butter!
  • My mate used liquorice as bait when he went fishing.<br/>
He caught all sorts!
    My mate used liquorice as bait when he went fishing.
    He caught all sorts!