• I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new ones!Upload to Facebook
    I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new ones!
  • Me: I want to be like Hemingway.<br/>
Friend: A writer?<br/>
Me: No. An alcoholic!Upload to Facebook
    Me: I want to be like Hemingway.
    Friend: A writer?
    Me: No. An alcoholic!
  • It's time to replace your heart with another liver, so that you can drink more and care less!Upload to Facebook
    It's time to replace your heart with another liver, so that you can drink more and care less!
  • Dear Alcohol,<br/>
We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video. <br/>We need to talk!Upload to Facebook
    Dear Alcohol,
    We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video.
    We need to talk!
  • Vodka is just potatoes that made the right career choices!Upload to Facebook
    Vodka is just potatoes that made the right career choices!
  • After my fourth whiskey, I heard it whisper,<br/>
`Now is the time to tell people what you really think.`Upload to Facebook
    After my fourth whiskey, I heard it whisper,
    "Now is the time to tell people what you really think."
  • If a little wine does the body good then a lot of wine does the body better!Upload to Facebook
    If a little wine does the body good then a lot of wine does the body better!
  • Every alcoholic has two sides to every story.<br/>
His side and...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
the right side!Upload to Facebook
    Every alcoholic has two sides to every story.
    His side and...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    the right side!
  • Because I can't afford a vacation.<br/>
So I'm just going to drink until I don't know where I am!Upload to Facebook
    Because I can't afford a vacation.
    So I'm just going to drink until I don't know where I am!
  • Never take advice from me. You'll end up drunk!Upload to Facebook
    Never take advice from me. You'll end up drunk!
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