|How do people get the right drunk? I'm either really sober and bored or smashed out my face and ruining my life!|
|If it weren't for Whiskey, we would have to spend winters evenings talking to our wives!|
|You can't make everybody happy.|
You must understand, you're human and not beer!
|Alcohol: The fuel used in the engine of bad decisions!|
|Saturday night and I'm about to hit the gym!|
Sorry typo, I meant gin!
|Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need.|
Better to be safe than sober!
|If you hate your job then there's a support group for that. It's called "Everybody" and they meet at the bar!|
|Always drink whiskey responsibly.|
Please don't spill it!
|Good whiskey makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place!|
|If you're rich and drink alcohol in the middle of the day you're successful. If you're poor and drink alcohol in the middle of the day then you're an alcoholic!|