• It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub.<br/>
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.<br/>
The difference is staggering!
    It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub.
    It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.
    The difference is staggering!
  • A new group called Alcoholics Unanimous has been founded, if you don't feel like having a drink, you ring a member and he comes over to persuade you!
    A new group called Alcoholics Unanimous has been founded, if you don't feel like having a drink, you ring a member and he comes over to persuade you!
  • Wheat makes Beer.<br/>
Corn makes Whisky.<br/>
Grapes make Wine.<br/>
Potatoes make Vodka.<br/>
One just can't get drunk without farmers!
    Wheat makes Beer.
    Corn makes Whisky.
    Grapes make Wine.
    Potatoes make Vodka.
    One just can't get drunk without farmers!
  • Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!
    Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!
  • My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.<br/>
#Navratras
    My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.
    #Navratras
  • People say drunk and disorderly.<br/>
I say spirited and spontaneous!
    People say drunk and disorderly.
    I say spirited and spontaneous!
  • I never drink alcohol...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
without snacks!
    I never drink alcohol...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    without snacks!
  • Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself!
    Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself!
  • The doctor has advised me to add more fruits to my diet.<br/>
So I have started adding more lime to my tequila!
    The doctor has advised me to add more fruits to my diet.
    So I have started adding more lime to my tequila!
  • A real man is one who takes success and failure in equal measure.<br/>
60 ml, to be precise!
    A real man is one who takes success and failure in equal measure.
    60 ml, to be precise!