|It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub.|
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering!
|A new group called Alcoholics Unanimous has been founded, if you don't feel like having a drink, you ring a member and he comes over to persuade you!|
|Wheat makes Beer.|
Corn makes Whisky.
Grapes make Wine.
Potatoes make Vodka.
One just can't get drunk without farmers!
|Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!|
|My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.|
|People say drunk and disorderly.|
I say spirited and spontaneous!
|I never drink alcohol...|
|Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself!|
|The doctor has advised me to add more fruits to my diet.|
So I have started adding more lime to my tequila!
|A real man is one who takes success and failure in equal measure.|
60 ml, to be precise!