|I drink very little.|
And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
|The lottery gives you a 1 in a million chance you won't go to work tomorrow.|
Alcohol gives you 1 in 5!
|What did I learn today?|
It turns out that I'm not addicted to alcohol... I'm addicted to hangovers!
|I can't really walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need me to drink the drink them I am all yours!|
|World Cup 2018 result update:|
VODKA 5 - PETROL 0
|Drinking pineapple juice will improve your complexion and adding rum will improve others' looks!|
|Weekend Spiritual Quote:|
It is better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a temple thinking about Whisky!
|Girl: Me or alcohol?|
Alcohol: Choose her, I know you will come back to me later!
|I hate when people ask me what I do for fun because there is no classy way to say "binge drink"!|
|Alcohol is a very useful solution.|
One treats outside wounds by rubbing alcohol;
And inside wounds by drinking alcohol!