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My dentist makes the best false teeth. They're so lifelike, they even ache! -
Patient: Doctor, what's good for excessive wind?
Doctor: A kite. -
Doctors after operation and students after exam both tell the same answer;
.
.
.
We tried our best;
Can't say anything right now! -
The doctor put a stethoscope to the patient's chest. The patient said, "Doctor how do I stand?"
The doctor replied, "That's what puzzles me"! -
The doctor said to patient, "I want you take your clothes off and stick your tongue out of the window."
"What will that do?"
"Not much. But I hate my neighbour!" -
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal! -
Patient: I feel so sick I wish I could die.
Doctor: Don't worry. I'll take care of that! -
Patient: How much longer do I have?
Doctor: Ten...
Patient: Ten What?
Doctor: Nine -
Doctor to patient, "Your case will enrich medical sciences".
Patient: Oh dear! And I thought I'll just have to pay Rs. 10000! -
Patient to Psychiatrist, "What is the difference between dream and reality?"
Patient: The same between a girlfriend and a wife!