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Doctor: So you swallowed a clock two months ago, why didn't you come to me sooner?
Patient: I didn't want to alarm you. -
Patient: I have spent 80 per cent of my life savings on doctors.
Doctor: Why didn't you come to me earlier? -
A man to doctor, "Is there any medicine for long life?"
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help ?
Doctor: No, but it will avoid such thoughts. -
My dentist makes the best false teeth. They're so lifelike, they even ache! -
Patient: Doctor, what's good for excessive wind?
Doctor: A kite. -
Doctors after operation and students after exam both tell the same answer;
.
.
.
We tried our best;
Can't say anything right now! -
The doctor put a stethoscope to the patient's chest. The patient said, "Doctor how do I stand?"
The doctor replied, "That's what puzzles me"! -
The doctor said to patient, "I want you take your clothes off and stick your tongue out of the window."
"What will that do?"
"Not much. But I hate my neighbour!" -
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal! -
Patient: I feel so sick I wish I could die.
Doctor: Don't worry. I'll take care of that!