| Why is it that you wait 6 weeks for a doctor's appointment and then he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner"? |
| Some doctors charge so much, they should be called Feesycians! |
| Patient: Doctor, doctor, I'm addicted to Twitter. Patient: Sorry, I don't follow you. |
| Patient: Doctor, doctor, I'can't stop stealing things. Doctor: Take these pills for a week and if they don't work, get me a 42-inch flat screen TV! |
| Patient: Doctor, I'm having trouble with my breathing. Doctor: I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that. |
| Doctor: You'll live to be 70. Patient: I am 70. Doctor: See, what did I tell you? |
| Doctor: Madam, your cheque came back. Woman: So did my arthritis! |
| Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch! |
| Doctor: So you swallowed a clock two months ago, why didn't you come to me sooner? Patient: I didn't want to alarm you. |
| Patient: I have spent 80 per cent of my life savings on doctors. Doctor: Why didn't you come to me earlier? |