|Patient: How much longer do I have?|
Patient: Ten What?
|Doctor to patient, "Your case will enrich medical sciences".|
Patient: Oh dear! And I thought I'll just have to pay Rs. 10000!
|Patient to Psychiatrist, "What is the difference between dream and reality?"|
Patient: The same between a girlfriend and a wife!
|Prisoner: Doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!|
Doctor: I sure'll but only bit by bit!
|Nurse: Doctor, the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?|
Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was arriving!
|A lady waited patiently at the pharmacist till he was free to serve her.|
At last he asked, "May I help you, madam?"
"Could you please read this letter from my fiance for me? He is a doctor!"
|Two old men were sitting in bar.|
One said to other, "My wife's a mess. She has gonorrhoea, diarrhoea and ascariasis."
"Why do you stay with her?" said the other.
"Because I love to fish and she has great worms."
|A surgeon went to visit his twin brother, a vicar, at a parish. During his morning walk a parishioner, mistaking him for the vicar, congratulated him on his sermon.|
"Sorry," replied the surgeon. "I am not the twin who preaches, I am the one who practices."
|The four stages of getting sick: ill, pill, bill and will.|