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I can't believe school used to start before 9 am and I actually went! -
Sleep is like a drug addiction. We physically depend on it and become angry and even depressed when we don't get enough of it! -
The funeral director at cemetery use to tie the shoelaces together of the deceased.
Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious. -
Watson: Why are you painting the front door yellow?
Holmes: A lemon entry, my dear Watson! -
Girl: What is your idea of a perfect date?
Me: DD-MM-YYYY, rest formats are confusing.
I don't know why she has blocked me! -
I'm reading a horror story in Braille.
Something bad is about to happen...
I can feel it! -
The internet almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery! -
A lady posted on FB:
"My husband is take me tomorrow for soaping, what should I bye".
Someone commented: Dictionary! -
It's fine to say nine hundred or eleven hundred, but say ten hundred and you sound like a moron! -
Sitaron Se Aage Jahaan Aur Bhi Hain Abhi Ishq Ke Imtihan Aur Bhi Hain...
Here Ishq is either a CA or a medical student!