|Why don't actors stare out of the window in the morning?|
Because if they did, they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon!
|A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"|
A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
A graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
|A skeleton walked into a bar and said,|
"I'll have a Budweiser and a mop, please!"
|Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency!|
|Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and feel glad that you are alive?|
I did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again!
|The CA of Leonardo da Vinci must have been called Leonardo da Munshi!|
|A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.|
When it came time to pay,
The skunk didn't have a scent;
The deer didn't have a buck;
So they put the meal on the duck's bill!
|Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever and whenever!|
|When I was young I used to dream that... at the age of 50+, I'll have:|
A big Penthouse.
Ferrari & Lamborgini
Farm in the hills
Island in the Carribean
I am proud to inform you that at least one dream has come true.
I am 50+
|Have you ever realized that every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty?|