• Friend: Nice fragrance, do you use Axe?<br/>
Me: No bro. Ex used me!
    Friend: Nice fragrance, do you use Axe?
    Me: No bro. Ex used me!
  • As a kid, I always wondered why my father used to bite his nails and stare blankly at a wall after winning an argument with my mother.<br/>
Now, as a husband, I fully understand why!
    As a kid, I always wondered why my father used to bite his nails and stare blankly at a wall after winning an argument with my mother.
    Now, as a husband, I fully understand why!
  • The irony of growing up, and no longer having to get up early to catch a school bus, is that you eventually have to get up even earlier to make sure someone else catches the school bus!
    The irony of growing up, and no longer having to get up early to catch a school bus, is that you eventually have to get up even earlier to make sure someone else catches the school bus!
  • This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.<br/>
It's a small world!
    This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
    It's a small world!
  • I couldn't find a parking spot at work today, so I went home.<br/>
Looks like they had enough people!
    I couldn't find a parking spot at work today, so I went home.
    Looks like they had enough people!
  • Let children believe in Santa.<br/>
You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining that for you!
    Let children believe in Santa.
    You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining that for you!
  • A 75-year-old man was being punished by an Indian court for teasing a woman.<br/>

While giving judgment, the judge said, `I can understand a 25-year-old man teasing a woman and am not against it, but a 75-year-old man doing is not acceptable. So you are punished`.
<br/>
The old man then said `Honourable judge, I did this when I was 25 years old. The court verdict came after 50 years`!
    A 75-year-old man was being punished by an Indian court for teasing a woman.
    While giving judgment, the judge said, "I can understand a 25-year-old man teasing a woman and am not against it, but a 75-year-old man doing is not acceptable. So you are punished".
    The old man then said "Honourable judge, I did this when I was 25 years old. The court verdict came after 50 years"!
  • Finally, I am in relationsleep.<br/>
Please read again!
    Finally, I am in relationsleep.
    Please read again!
  • Me: Alexa, make me feel good.<br/>
Alexa: Bhai Tujhe Hi Dekh Rahi Hai!
    Me: Alexa, make me feel good.
    Alexa: Bhai Tujhe Hi Dekh Rahi Hai!
  • Girlfriend: Babu Mujhe Laptop Ka Wallpaper Change Karna, Sikhao Na.<br/>
Pappu: OK! Pehle Computer File Main Jao.<br/>
Girlfriend: Chali Gayi.<br/>
Pappu: Ab Upar Dekho Kya Hai?<br/>
Girlfriend: Pankha.<br/>
Pappu: Uss Se Latak Kar Mar Jao!
    Girlfriend: Babu Mujhe Laptop Ka Wallpaper Change Karna, Sikhao Na.
    Pappu: OK! Pehle Computer File Main Jao.
    Girlfriend: Chali Gayi.
    Pappu: Ab Upar Dekho Kya Hai?
    Girlfriend: Pankha.
    Pappu: Uss Se Latak Kar Mar Jao!