• God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.Upload to Facebook
    God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
    ~ Garrison Keillor
  • Analyzing humour is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
    ~ E. B. White
  • Just tell me when and where and I'll be there 20 minutes late.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • Adulthood is like losing your mother in the grocery store for your whole life.Upload to Facebook
    Adulthood is like losing your mother in the grocery store for your whole life.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • Some people are such treasures that you really just want to bury them.Upload to Facebook
    Some people are such treasures that you really just want to bury them.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • When someone close to you dies, move seats.
    ~ Peter Kay
  • A date is an experience with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
    ~ Larry David
  • It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
    ~ Robert Frost
  • Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many.
    ~ Herb Caen
  • My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
    ~ Socrates
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