Funny SMS

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BBM and Whatsapp have been ranked 2nd and 3rd for chat and gossip.
However, women still continue to retain the 1st position!
BBM and Whatsapp have been ranked 2nd and 3rd for chat and gossip. 
However, women still continue to retain the 1st position!
Customer: Do you serve women in this bar?
Bartender: No Sir, you have to bring your own!
Why does Guinness beer have a white head?
So that drunks know which end to start from!
Acquaintance: So have you sold anything since you took up writing full-time?
Writer: Yes. My car, the TV and a couple of items of jewellery...
Beggar: I'm the author of a book called "150 Methods to Become Rich.
Man: Then why are you begging?
Beggar: This is one of the best methods!
Q: Why does beer go through your system so fast?
A: It doesn't have to stop to change colour!
Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because it's finger licking good!
Height of Job Satisfaction:
A young man got a job in a girls hostel. After 2 months, the Principal asked, "Why didn't you draw your salary?"
Man: Oh my God! There's salary also?
Cop: Sir, what's in the bottle next to you?
Driver: It's water.
Cop: Sir, this is wine.
Driver: What? Jesus! He did it again!
For Punjabis, there are 3 KEYS to happiness:
1. WhisKEY
2. LadKEY
3. SaanuKEY
For Punjabis, there are 3 KEYS to happiness: 
1. WhisKEY 
2. LadKEY 
3. SaanuKEY
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