• Fun Fact:<br/>
If you hold your ear close enough to a stranger's leg, you can actually hear them say `What the hell are you doing?`
    Fun Fact:
    If you hold your ear close enough to a stranger's leg, you can actually hear them say "What the hell are you doing?"
  • Me: Alexa! Play me a song.<br/>
Alexa: Aatmnirbhar Bano Aur Khud Hi Gaa Lo!
    Me: Alexa! Play me a song.
    Alexa: Aatmnirbhar Bano Aur Khud Hi Gaa Lo!
  • Relationship Status:<br/>
Single<br/>
In a relationship<br/>
Married<br/>
Divorced<br/>
Separated<br/>
Aatmnirbhar √
    Relationship Status:
    Single
    In a relationship
    Married
    Divorced
    Separated
    Aatmnirbhar √
  • Girl: Hey, are you dating someone?<br/>
Me: No, I am Aatmnirbhar!
    Girl: Hey, are you dating someone?
    Me: No, I am Aatmnirbhar!
  • Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100.<br/>
Caddie: Try heaven, sir. You have already moved most of the earth!
    Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100.
    Caddie: Try heaven, sir. You have already moved most of the earth!
  • I am about 5 pounds away from Google maps listing me as a roundabout!
    I am about 5 pounds away from Google maps listing me as a roundabout!
  • My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.<br/>
I said, `Wait, I can change!`
    My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.
    I said, "Wait, I can change!"
  • Going into my teenage son's bedroom is like a trip to IKEA.<br/>
I went in for a look and came out with 6 cups, 4 plates, 3 bowls, and some cutlery!
    Going into my teenage son's bedroom is like a trip to IKEA.
    I went in for a look and came out with 6 cups, 4 plates, 3 bowls, and some cutlery!
  • I feel like I'm 16 again.<br/>
Petrol is cheap, I can't legally buy a drink in a pub, and I'm grounded!
    I feel like I'm 16 again.
    Petrol is cheap, I can't legally buy a drink in a pub, and I'm grounded!
  • Friend: Which is your favorite fictional character?<br/>
Me: Girlfriend!
    Friend: Which is your favorite fictional character?
    Me: Girlfriend!