|Life is short to be taken seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will!|
|I wasn't sure how comfortable my new couch would be.|
But sofa so good!
|Me: Mummy Main Daaru Pita Hun.|
Mummy: Koi Baat Nahi Beta Ho Jaata Hai Bachcho Mein.
Me: Mummy Main Cigarette Bhi Pita Hun.
Mummy: Koi Baat Nahi Beta. Par Ab Chhod Dena.
Me: Maine Weed Bhi Maara Hai.
Mummy: Om Shiv Shambhu. Om Shiv Shambhu.
Mummy: Achha Tu Ye Bata Teri Girlfriend Hai Ya Boyfriend?
Mummy: Jug Jug Jio Mere Laal!
|The worst thing about getting into an argument with my girlfriend is she never tells me what it's about!|
|Girl: How single are you?|
Boy: Main Test Match Bhi Pura Dekhta Hun!
|A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes. |
Man: For my first wish I'd like to be rich.
Genie: Alright Rich, what's your second wish!
|My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?"|
I said I'd take either/oar!
|It's not a complete psychiatric evolution if you don't show them your social media account!|
|My friend keeps saying "cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!"|
I know he means well!
|Modern parents can embarrass their children with old social media posts instead of photo albums now!|