• Life is short to be taken seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will!
    Life is short to be taken seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will!
  • I wasn't sure how comfortable my new couch would be.<br/>
But sofa so good!
    I wasn't sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
    But sofa so good!
  • Me: Mummy Main Daaru Pita Hun.<br/>
Mummy: Koi Baat Nahi Beta Ho Jaata Hai Bachcho Mein.<br/>
Me: Mummy Main Cigarette Bhi Pita Hun.<br/>
Mummy: Koi Baat Nahi Beta. Par Ab Chhod Dena.<br/>
Me: Maine Weed Bhi Maara Hai.<br/>
Mummy: Om Shiv Shambhu. Om Shiv Shambhu. <br/>
Mummy: Achha Tu Ye Bata Teri Girlfriend Hai Ya Boyfriend?<br/>
Me: Girlfriend.<br/>
Mummy: Jug Jug Jio Mere Laal!
    Me: Mummy Main Daaru Pita Hun.
    Mummy: Koi Baat Nahi Beta Ho Jaata Hai Bachcho Mein.
    Me: Mummy Main Cigarette Bhi Pita Hun.
    Mummy: Koi Baat Nahi Beta. Par Ab Chhod Dena.
    Me: Maine Weed Bhi Maara Hai.
    Mummy: Om Shiv Shambhu. Om Shiv Shambhu.
    Mummy: Achha Tu Ye Bata Teri Girlfriend Hai Ya Boyfriend?
    Me: Girlfriend.
    Mummy: Jug Jug Jio Mere Laal!
  • The worst thing about getting into an argument with my girlfriend is she never tells me what it's about!
    The worst thing about getting into an argument with my girlfriend is she never tells me what it's about!
  • Girl: How single are you?<br/>
Boy: Main Test Match Bhi Pura Dekhta Hun!
    Girl: How single are you?
    Boy: Main Test Match Bhi Pura Dekhta Hun!
  • A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes. <br/>
Man: For my first wish I'd like to be rich.<br/>
Genie: Alright Rich, what's your second wish!
    A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes.
    Man: For my first wish I'd like to be rich.
    Genie: Alright Rich, what's your second wish!
  • My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, `Which one do you want?`<br/>
I said I'd take either/oar!
    My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?"
    I said I'd take either/oar!
  • It's not a complete psychiatric evolution if you don't show them your social media account!
    It's not a complete psychiatric evolution if you don't show them your social media account!
  • My friend keeps saying `cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!`<br/>
I know he means well!
    My friend keeps saying "cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!"
    I know he means well!
  • Modern parents can embarrass their children with old social media posts instead of photo albums now!
    Modern parents can embarrass their children with old social media posts instead of photo albums now!