|A fun thing about parenting is you can even stress in your sleep!|
Teens: Wants to stay up past 10
The 20s: Wants to go out after 10
The 30s: Wants to be home by 10
The 40s: Wants to be asleep by 10
|My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I gave her some superglue instead.|
Her lips are looking quite beautiful but she's not talking to me!
|Things I want: Snuggles |
Things I get: Struggles!
|If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, explain laundry!|
|I'm making a fruit salad and the recipe says 'Pineapples - Five cubed'.|
Now where on earth am I going to get 125 pineapples?
|The best part about having big hips is closing doors to every appliance the house while I holding laundry baskets!|
|There's a name for people who can't remember anything.|
Those people are called parents!
|There is nothing more hostile than writing `Friendly Reminder` in the workplace!|
|The look on my son's face, when he opened his Birthday present & saw it was flattened cardboard.|
I said "You did say you wanted an ex-box?"