|In 1978 I was riding my bicycle and fell off and hurt my knee.|
I'm telling you this now because there was no social media during those times!
|Hating people takes too much energy.|
Instead, I just pretend they are dead!
|In Delhi, people don't know which car to take out today.|
In Dubai, people don't know which wife to take out today.
In Vegas, they don't know who's wife to take out today.
Different countries, different problems!
But in Bangalore, people don't know which road to take to reach the office today!
|I just saved 100% on stress by switching myself to not giving a damn!|
|Only if closed minds came with closed mouths!|
|Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I just dress up in the worst clothes I have and go to the store. This never fails to ensure that I run into somebody I know!|
|So apparently, if you're late drinking out with your buddies, wrapping yourself up in a blanket and telling your wife that you were just rescued by the coast guard doesn't work if you live in a landlocked country!|
|Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up.|
Because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!
|The reason why moms always know where everything is...|
because they're the ones moving our things all the time!
|Everyone told Sam not to sing, but Samsung anyway!|