• I always want to drown my problems but my girlfriend just wouldn't agree for a swim!
    I always want to drown my problems but my girlfriend just wouldn't agree for a swim!
  • When you kill a cockroach and put it in the trash can, it's kinda like sending it to their version of heaven!
    When you kill a cockroach and put it in the trash can, it's kinda like sending it to their version of heaven!
  • Grandpa: The philosopher Plato once said, `I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing and that is I know nothing.`<br/>
Kid: How did he know that?<br/>
Grandpa: His wife told him!
    Grandpa: The philosopher Plato once said, "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing and that is I know nothing."
    Kid: How did he know that?
    Grandpa: His wife told him!
  • I hate spelling errors...<br/>
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined!
    I hate spelling errors...
    You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined!
  • A guy sent a text to his friend, `Send me some words of encouragement so I don't murder someone at work.`<br/>
The friend replied, `There is no WiFi in jail!
    A guy sent a text to his friend, "Send me some words of encouragement so I don't murder someone at work."
    The friend replied, "There is no WiFi in jail!
  • A question asked in a talent test:<br/>
If you are married to one of the twin sisters who look identical, how would you recognise your wife?<br/><br/>

The award-winning answer was!<br/>
`Just pinch either of them. if she screams at you, she is your wife. If she smiles then sister-in-law!`
    A question asked in a talent test:
    If you are married to one of the twin sisters who look identical, how would you recognise your wife?

    The award-winning answer was!
    "Just pinch either of them. if she screams at you, she is your wife. If she smiles then sister-in-law!"
  • A girl uploads a picture with her dog: 'Meet my dog, Romeo'.<br/>
Boy 1: Awww... Romeo is too cute!<br/>
Boy 2: Bahut Pyaala Dogi Hai!<br/>
Boy 3: Haaye, Kaash Hum Kutte Hote!<br/><br/>

A boy uploads a pic with his dog: 'Meet my dog, Mojo'.<br/>
Boy 1: Bhai In Mein Se Kutta Kaun Hai?<br/>
Boy 2: Aakhir Mein Tera Baap Mil Hi Geya.<br/>
Boy 3: Khud Ke Khaane Ka Thikana Nahi, Chala Kutta Paalne!
    A girl uploads a picture with her dog: 'Meet my dog, Romeo'.
    Boy 1: Awww... Romeo is too cute!
    Boy 2: Bahut Pyaala Dogi Hai!
    Boy 3: Haaye, Kaash Hum Kutte Hote!

    A boy uploads a pic with his dog: 'Meet my dog, Mojo'.
    Boy 1: Bhai In Mein Se Kutta Kaun Hai?
    Boy 2: Aakhir Mein Tera Baap Mil Hi Geya.
    Boy 3: Khud Ke Khaane Ka Thikana Nahi, Chala Kutta Paalne!
  • Interviewer: What is your greatest strength?<br/>
Candidate: I have a nap for dealing with conflict.<br/>
Interviewer: Do you mean 'knack'?<br/>
*Pulls out Pillow*
    Interviewer: What is your greatest strength?
    Candidate: I have a nap for dealing with conflict.
    Interviewer: Do you mean 'knack'?
    *Pulls out Pillow*
  • <b>Human Biology books in 2020:</b><br/>

1. Humans can only survive without food for 3 weeks. <br/>

2. Three days without water<br/>

3. 45 minutes without WiFi
    Human Biology books in 2020:
    1. Humans can only survive without food for 3 weeks.
    2. Three days without water
    3. 45 minutes without WiFi
  • I don't hate Candy Crush, I just hate the person who keeps sending me Facebook invites to play it!
    I don't hate Candy Crush, I just hate the person who keeps sending me Facebook invites to play it!
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