|I always want to drown my problems but my girlfriend just wouldn't agree for a swim!|
|When you kill a cockroach and put it in the trash can, it's kinda like sending it to their version of heaven!|
|Grandpa: The philosopher Plato once said, "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing and that is I know nothing."|
Kid: How did he know that?
Grandpa: His wife told him!
|I hate spelling errors...|
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined!
|A guy sent a text to his friend, "Send me some words of encouragement so I don't murder someone at work."|
The friend replied, "There is no WiFi in jail!
|A question asked in a talent test:|
If you are married to one of the twin sisters who look identical, how would you recognise your wife?
The award-winning answer was!
"Just pinch either of them. if she screams at you, she is your wife. If she smiles then sister-in-law!"
|A girl uploads a picture with her dog: 'Meet my dog, Romeo'.|
Boy 1: Awww... Romeo is too cute!
Boy 2: Bahut Pyaala Dogi Hai!
Boy 3: Haaye, Kaash Hum Kutte Hote!
A boy uploads a pic with his dog: 'Meet my dog, Mojo'.
Boy 1: Bhai In Mein Se Kutta Kaun Hai?
Boy 2: Aakhir Mein Tera Baap Mil Hi Geya.
Boy 3: Khud Ke Khaane Ka Thikana Nahi, Chala Kutta Paalne!
|Interviewer: What is your greatest strength?|
Candidate: I have a nap for dealing with conflict.
Interviewer: Do you mean 'knack'?
*Pulls out Pillow*
|Human Biology books in 2020:|
1. Humans can only survive without food for 3 weeks.
2. Three days without water
3. 45 minutes without WiFi
|I don't hate Candy Crush, I just hate the person who keeps sending me Facebook invites to play it!|