• So apparently, if you're late drinking out with your buddies, wrapping yourself up in a blanket and telling your wife that you were just rescued by the coast guard doesn't work if you live in a landlocked country!
  • Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up.<br/>
Because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!
    Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up.
    Because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!
  • The reason why moms always know where everything is...<br/>
because they're the ones moving our things all the time!
    The reason why moms always know where everything is...
    because they're the ones moving our things all the time!
  • Everyone told Sam not to sing, but Samsung anyway!
    Everyone told Sam not to sing, but Samsung anyway!
  • The Sentimental Growth Story:<br/>
Me: Can you please grow?<br/>
Hair: No<br/>
Muscle: Nope<br/>
Salary: Don't even dream. <br/>
Stomach: Anything for you!
    The Sentimental Growth Story:
    Me: Can you please grow?
    Hair: No
    Muscle: Nope
    Salary: Don't even dream.
    Stomach: Anything for you!
  • I just realized that you should not make fun of thin people, they'll stab you with their elbows!
    I just realized that you should not make fun of thin people, they'll stab you with their elbows!
  • Earth Ke Mummy-Daddy Hote Toh Earth Ko Kitni Daant Padti.<br/>
Saara Din Ghoomti Rehti Hai!
    Earth Ke Mummy-Daddy Hote Toh Earth Ko Kitni Daant Padti.
    Saara Din Ghoomti Rehti Hai!
  • Saw a man hanging out of his balcony.<br/>
I shouted `Don't do it. You are not alone, we all have the same problems.`<br/>
He replied: Are you on Vodafone, too?
    Saw a man hanging out of his balcony.
    I shouted "Don't do it. You are not alone, we all have the same problems."
    He replied: Are you on Vodafone, too?
  • Judge to Chidambaram: What do you have to say in your defense?<br/>
Chidambaram: Milord, I have joined BJP.<br/>
Judge: Well then case dismissed!
    Judge to Chidambaram: What do you have to say in your defense?
    Chidambaram: Milord, I have joined BJP.
    Judge: Well then case dismissed!
  • If Imran Khan could resolve disputes with dialogue... he wouldn't have married 3 times!
    If Imran Khan could resolve disputes with dialogue... he wouldn't have married 3 times!