|Why do teenage girls hang out in odd numbers?|
Because they can't even!
|Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
Cannoli do so much.
Now he's just a pizza history!
|I get progressively uglier throughout the day!|
|There was this young man who was in love with two women. He loved one because she wrote beautiful poetry. He loved the other because she made incredible pancakes. He couldn't decide whether to marry for batter or for verse!|
|Friend: I am finally over my ex.|
Me: Wow, time to celebrate. I will quickly change and then we'll go out. Excuse me.
Friend: Yeah, Ex used me too!
|If she has't kissed you till 3rd date then believe me, she is there for free food!|
|Do you know that I have the talent of getting tired without doing anything!|
|At Dinner Table:|
Husband: How many times I have told you not to look at Whatsapp in your mobile while cooking? There is no salt and tamarind in the Rasam.
Wife: How many times did I tell you not to watch Facebook in your mobile on the mobile when you eat? It is not Rasam but you added water to rice!
|I always feel at home at Starbucks because they shout at you when the food is ready!|
|Have you ever thought that if poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?|