• I've given up on getting six packs, the good lord put alcohol and carbs on this planet for a reason and I'll be damned to let him down!
    I've given up on getting six packs, the good lord put alcohol and carbs on this planet for a reason and I'll be damned to let him down!
  • Stole my Dad's money and took my girlfriend to the Starbucks.<br/>
Ghar Aate Hi Mujhe Caffee Latte Padi!
    Stole my Dad's money and took my girlfriend to the Starbucks.
    Ghar Aate Hi Mujhe Caffee Latte Padi!
  • What did I learn today? <br/>
Nothing. You can't learn much getting up at noon and watching TV for the rest of the day!
    What did I learn today?
    Nothing. You can't learn much getting up at noon and watching TV for the rest of the day!
  • When your ex. says `You'll never find anyone like me again.`<br/>
Tell him, `That's the point you idiot`!
    When your ex. says "You'll never find anyone like me again."
    Tell him, "That's the point you idiot"!
  • Justice or Just Ice - depends on which bar you're in!
    Justice or Just Ice - depends on which bar you're in!
  • A Gujju posted on Facebook:<br/>
`A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money and your wife is still around`!
    A Gujju posted on Facebook:
    "A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money and your wife is still around"!
  • A Priest is called a Father.  <br/>
A Bishop Your Grace.  <br/>
A Cardinal Your Eminence.  <br/>
A Pope Your Holiness.  <br/>
But only a 36-24-36 is called 'OH MY GOD'!
    A Priest is called a Father.
    A Bishop Your Grace.
    A Cardinal Your Eminence.
    A Pope Your Holiness.
    But only a 36-24-36 is called 'OH MY GOD'!
  • I have been single for so long I forgot how to spell relatsingleship!
    I have been single for so long I forgot how to spell relatsingleship!
  • After the age of 30, I figured out that most important thing in adulthood is... <br/>
. <br/>
. <br/>
. <br/>
. <br/>
. <br/>
. <br/>
. <br/>
Sleeping!
    After the age of 30, I figured out that most important thing in adulthood is...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Sleeping!
  • What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?<br/>
Where's pop-corn?
    What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
    Where's pop-corn?