|Interviewee: Do you allow work-from-home?|
Interviewer: Yeah, but only on weekends!
|How do trees access the internet? |
They log in!
|I used to be poor... then I met Tharoor and now I'm impecunious!|
|Dear Hallmark, |
How about a line of Happy Palentine's Day cards for those of us stuck in the friend-zone?
|Therapist: Maybe all you really need is a long family vacation. |
Me: Long family vacations are why I'm in therapy!
|Asking me if I want a drink is like asking me if I want money!|
|I've given up on getting six packs, the good lord put alcohol and carbs on this planet for a reason and I'll be damned to let him down!|
|Stole my Dad's money and took my girlfriend to the Starbucks.|
Ghar Aate Hi Mujhe Caffee Latte Padi!
|Apparently, you can't use "beefstew" as a password. |
It's not stroganoff!
|How doctors propose on 14th Feb? |
"Will you BMI Valentine?"