• Myth: Earphones were invented so that you don't disturb others.<br/>
Reality: Earphones were invented so that others don't disturb you!
    Myth: Earphones were invented so that you don't disturb others.
    Reality: Earphones were invented so that others don't disturb you!
  • Coffee is proof that God wants you working long hours at that mind-numbing, thankless job!
    Coffee is proof that God wants you working long hours at that mind-numbing, thankless job!
  • Scientists have discovered that people will believe anything as long as you start a sentence by saying,<br/>
'Scientists have discovered that'!
    Scientists have discovered that people will believe anything as long as you start a sentence by saying,
    'Scientists have discovered that'!
  • I'm not an early bird or a night owl... I'm some form of permanently exhausted pigeon!
    I'm not an early bird or a night owl... I'm some form of permanently exhausted pigeon!
  • Learn to distinguish between a person who talks to you in their free time & a person who frees time to talk to you!
    Learn to distinguish between a person who talks to you in their free time & a person who frees time to talk to you!
  • I've got a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them works!
    I've got a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them works!
  • Mom: We have donated all your toys to the orphanage.<br/>
Kid: Why?<br/>
Mom: So you'll have something to play with them when we take you there!
    Mom: We have donated all your toys to the orphanage.
    Kid: Why?
    Mom: So you'll have something to play with them when we take you there!
  • Late fees is strange. `Hey this person is struggling to pay this bill, let's make it more expensive!`
    Late fees is strange. "Hey this person is struggling to pay this bill, let's make it more expensive!"
  • 
Kid: Mom, am I adopted?<br/>
Mom: No, not yet, we still haven't found anyone who wants you!
    Kid: Mom, am I adopted?
    Mom: No, not yet, we still haven't found anyone who wants you!
  • Pro Tip:<br/>
Never invite an arsonist to a housewarming party!
    Pro Tip:
    Never invite an arsonist to a housewarming party!