• Interviewee: Do you allow work-from-home?<br/>
Interviewer: Yeah, but only on weekends!
    Interviewee: Do you allow work-from-home?
    Interviewer: Yeah, but only on weekends!
  • How do trees access the internet? <br/>
They log in!
    How do trees access the internet?
    They log in!
  • I used to be poor... then I met Tharoor and now I'm impecunious!
    I used to be poor... then I met Tharoor and now I'm impecunious!
  • Dear Hallmark, <br/>
How about a line of Happy Palentine's Day cards for those of us stuck in the friend-zone?
    Dear Hallmark,
    How about a line of Happy Palentine's Day cards for those of us stuck in the friend-zone?
  • Therapist: Maybe all you really need is a long family vacation. <br/>
Me: Long family vacations are why I'm in therapy!
    Therapist: Maybe all you really need is a long family vacation.
    Me: Long family vacations are why I'm in therapy!
  • Asking me if I want a drink is like asking me if I want money!
    Asking me if I want a drink is like asking me if I want money!
  • I've given up on getting six packs, the good lord put alcohol and carbs on this planet for a reason and I'll be damned to let him down!
    I've given up on getting six packs, the good lord put alcohol and carbs on this planet for a reason and I'll be damned to let him down!
  • Stole my Dad's money and took my girlfriend to the Starbucks.<br/>
Ghar Aate Hi Mujhe Caffee Latte Padi!
    Stole my Dad's money and took my girlfriend to the Starbucks.
    Ghar Aate Hi Mujhe Caffee Latte Padi!
  • Apparently, you can't use `beefstew` as a password. <br/>
It's not stroganoff!
    Apparently, you can't use "beefstew" as a password.
    It's not stroganoff!
  • How doctors propose on 14th Feb? <br/>
`Will you BMI Valentine?`
    How doctors propose on 14th Feb?
    "Will you BMI Valentine?"