|You never realize how little you know about someone until you have to buy them a birthday present!|
|I asked this guy at the multiplex if there was any good movie to watch.|
He said, "They are playing Nun"!
|Today I have invented a new game "Quiet tennis".|
It's pretty much the same as normal tennis, but without the racket!
|This bloke just came into my workplace shouting "Vodka, tequila, Kahlua!"|
I said "Hey! I call the shots round here!"
|There was a time when people used to like their phone ringing in public so they could show off their ringtone.|
Now everyone gets pissed at your phone making the slightest noise!
|Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, and today I asked her to marry me.|
She said no on both occasions!
|Went to Dentist yesterday and I realised Stephen Hawking could have had a conversation with the dentist during a procedure!|
|There are so many ways to ruin life but I prefer social media!|
|Shaadi Mein Host: Aap Ko Pehchana Nahi. Aap Kis Ki Taraf Se Aaye Hain.|
Guest: Main Ladki Waalon Ki Taraf Se Hoon.
Host: Dhokebaaz! Iss Shaadi Mein Koi Ladki Nahi. Dono Ladke Hain!
|Dusting is when you wipe the dust off of something. Dusting is also when you sprinkle the powder on something. Dusting's antonym is dusting!|