• You never realize how little you know about someone until you have to buy them a birthday present!
    You never realize how little you know about someone until you have to buy them a birthday present!
  • I asked this guy at the multiplex if there was any good movie to watch.<br/>
He said, `They are playing Nun`!
    I asked this guy at the multiplex if there was any good movie to watch.
    He said, "They are playing Nun"!
  • Today I have invented a new game `Quiet tennis`.<br/>
It's pretty much the same as normal tennis, but without the racket!
    Today I have invented a new game "Quiet tennis".
    It's pretty much the same as normal tennis, but without the racket!
  • This bloke just came into my workplace shouting `Vodka, tequila, Kahlua!`<br/>
I said `Hey! I call the shots round here!`
    This bloke just came into my workplace shouting "Vodka, tequila, Kahlua!"
    I said "Hey! I call the shots round here!"
  • There was a time when people used to like their phone ringing in public so they could show off their ringtone.<br/>
Now everyone gets pissed at your phone making the slightest noise!
    There was a time when people used to like their phone ringing in public so they could show off their ringtone.
    Now everyone gets pissed at your phone making the slightest noise!
  • Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, and today I asked her to marry me.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
She said no on both occasions!
    Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, and today I asked her to marry me.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    She said no on both occasions!
  • Went to Dentist yesterday and I realised Stephen Hawking could have had a conversation with the dentist during a procedure!
    Went to Dentist yesterday and I realised Stephen Hawking could have had a conversation with the dentist during a procedure!
  • There are so many ways to ruin life but I prefer social media!
    There are so many ways to ruin life but I prefer social media!
  • Shaadi Mein Host: Aap Ko Pehchana Nahi. Aap Kis Ki Taraf Se Aaye Hain.<br/>
Guest: Main Ladki Waalon Ki Taraf Se Hoon.<br/>
Host: Dhokebaaz! Iss Shaadi Mein Koi Ladki Nahi. Dono Ladke Hain!
    Shaadi Mein Host: Aap Ko Pehchana Nahi. Aap Kis Ki Taraf Se Aaye Hain.
    Guest: Main Ladki Waalon Ki Taraf Se Hoon.
    Host: Dhokebaaz! Iss Shaadi Mein Koi Ladki Nahi. Dono Ladke Hain!
  • Dusting is when you wipe the dust off of something. Dusting is also when you sprinkle the powder on something. Dusting's antonym is dusting!
    Dusting is when you wipe the dust off of something. Dusting is also when you sprinkle the powder on something. Dusting's antonym is dusting!