|A girl at the gym waved at me so I waved back.|
As it turned out she wasn't waving at me. So now I'm going to incorporate the hand wave into my exercising routine until she leaves!
|Comfortable sleeping positions often looks like I fell from a 3rd storey building!|
|When the Hulk smashes everything he's `incredible`, but when I do it I'm an...|
|Investor to Fund Manager: You hold so many mid-cap and small-cap stocks in the portfolio. I thought you said you only buy large caps.|
Fund Manager: When I bought them, they were all large caps!
|Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old that cause 6 deaths!|
|I hate spelling errors.|
I mean, one simple mistake and your entire text is urined.
|Being on your wife 's DP/FB profile doesn't always mean you are very special for her.|
Even Baygon Spray has a photograph of a cockroach on it!
|Police: What's your emergency?|
Me: Two girls are fighting over me.
Police: OK, so what's the problem?
Me: The one I don't like is winning!
|I was at the doctor and he said I had only 6 months of life and I shot him.|
The judge gave me 20 years!
|Police looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles. He seems to be following some sort of pattern!|