• A girl at the gym waved at me so I waved back.
    As it turned out she wasn't waving at me. So now I'm going to incorporate the hand wave into my exercising routine until she leaves!
  • Comfortable sleeping positions often looks like I fell from a 3rd storey building!
    Comfortable sleeping positions often looks like I fell from a 3rd storey building!
  • When the Hulk smashes everything he's `incredible`, but when I do it I'm an...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
forget it!
    When the Hulk smashes everything he's `incredible`, but when I do it I'm an...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    forget it!
  • Investor to Fund Manager: You hold so many mid-cap and small-cap stocks in the portfolio. I thought you said you only buy large caps.<br/>
Fund Manager: When I bought them, they were all large caps!
    Investor to Fund Manager: You hold so many mid-cap and small-cap stocks in the portfolio. I thought you said you only buy large caps.
    Fund Manager: When I bought them, they were all large caps!
  • Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old that cause 6 deaths!
    Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old that cause 6 deaths!
  • I hate spelling errors.<br/>
I mean, one simple mistake and your entire text is urined.
    I hate spelling errors.
    I mean, one simple mistake and your entire text is urined.
  • Being on your wife 's DP/FB profile doesn't always mean you are very special for her.<br/>
Even Baygon Spray has a photograph of a cockroach on it!
    Being on your wife 's DP/FB profile doesn't always mean you are very special for her.
    Even Baygon Spray has a photograph of a cockroach on it!
  • Police: What's your emergency?<br/>
Me: Two girls are fighting over me.<br/>
Police: OK, so what's the problem?<br/>
Me: The one I don't like is winning!
    Police: What's your emergency?
    Me: Two girls are fighting over me.
    Police: OK, so what's the problem?
    Me: The one I don't like is winning!
  • I was at the doctor and he said I had only 6 months of life and I shot him.<br/>
The judge gave me 20 years!
    I was at the doctor and he said I had only 6 months of life and I shot him.
    The judge gave me 20 years!
  • Police looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles. 
He seems to be following some sort of pattern!
    Police looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles. He seems to be following some sort of pattern!
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