|Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!|
|When you offer to "spot" a guy at the gym, he's grateful but when I offer to "spot" a guy at the urinal, he freaks out.|
|My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.|
|I should have been sad when my torch batteries died, but I was delighted!|
|The most reliable way to predict the future is to create it!|
|Me: SIRI, can you check my bank balance and tell me which Apple product I can afford?|
SIRI: Apple Juice!
|Man: Pandit Ji, Navratri Mein Sab Liquid Le Sakte Hain Kya?|
Pandit Ji: Jo Tum Soch Rahe Ho, Woh Toh Bilkul Hi Nahi!
|You only have to find yourself.|
Everything else, you can Google!
|How lonely are you?|
Me: I once argued with myself and won; we didn't talk for a week after that!
|People say drunk and disorderly.|
I say spirited and spontaneous!