• Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!
    Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!
  • When you offer to `spot` a guy at the gym, he's grateful but when I offer to `spot` a guy at the urinal, he freaks out.<br/>
Why?
    When you offer to "spot" a guy at the gym, he's grateful but when I offer to "spot" a guy at the urinal, he freaks out.
    Why?
  • My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.<br/>
#Navratras
    My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.
    #Navratras
  • I should have been sad when my torch batteries died, but I was delighted!
    I should have been sad when my torch batteries died, but I was delighted!
  • The most reliable way to predict the future is to create it!
    The most reliable way to predict the future is to create it!
  • Me: SIRI, can you check my bank balance and tell me which Apple product I can afford?<br/>
SIRI: Apple Juice!
    Me: SIRI, can you check my bank balance and tell me which Apple product I can afford?
    SIRI: Apple Juice!
  • Man: Pandit Ji, Navratri Mein Sab Liquid Le Sakte Hain Kya?<br/>
Pandit Ji: Jo Tum Soch Rahe Ho, Woh Toh Bilkul Hi Nahi!
    Man: Pandit Ji, Navratri Mein Sab Liquid Le Sakte Hain Kya?
    Pandit Ji: Jo Tum Soch Rahe Ho, Woh Toh Bilkul Hi Nahi!
  • You only have to find yourself.
    Everything else, you can Google!
  • How lonely are you?<br/>
Me: I once argued with myself and won; we didn't talk for a week after that!
    How lonely are you?
    Me: I once argued with myself and won; we didn't talk for a week after that!
  • People say drunk and disorderly.<br/>
I say spirited and spontaneous!
    People say drunk and disorderly.
    I say spirited and spontaneous!