|I hate when I finish two cheeseburgers, fries, and an apple pie...|
then remember I was supposed to eat a handful of almonds!
|Working out sucks but the results are awesome. Being lazy is awesome but the results suck!|
|Humans used to exercise to find food.|
Now we exercise to get rid of food!
|Trainer: It's crucial that you stick to a super high protein diet.|
Me: I know, I just had a block of cheese!
|Burning your body fat makes you a mass murderer!|
|Eyebrows. The only thing you can get in shape without exercise!|
|Me in my 20s: Eats junk food, works out and loses 5 lbs in a week. |
Me in my 30s: Eats healthy, works out, gains love handles overnight.
|My stomach talks to me more than most of my friends!|
|Most people goals: Get married and have babies.|
My Goals: Figure out how to eat cake every night without getting fat!
|Today is chest and leg day!|
Me ordering at KFC!