|How to 'Diet Religiously':|
Eat what you like and pray it doesn't show!
|The keys to happiness: |
1. Order a pizza
2. Eat that pizza
|Some of those fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner's high. I just have to bend over and tie my shoes!|
|The best thing about working out and eating well is knowing that eventually... I'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore!|
|I wish everything was as easy as getting fat!|
|I've only been on my diet for two days, and already I lost my personality!|
|I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems!|
|If I could have one super power, it would be the ability to lose weight by watching other people exercise!|
|The Sentimental Growth Story:|
Me: Can you please grow?
Salary: Don't even dream!
Tummy: Bro, anything for you!
|Sometimes I go into the fitting room with jeans three sizes too big so I can feel what it's like to succeed at a diet!|