|Jitne Dhokhe Maine Khaye Hain Us Hisaab Se Mujhe Bhi Sadma Bhushan Award Milna Chahiye!|
|Other Countries: This man is so talented.|
India: Bahut Harami Hai... Cheez Hai Yeh, Bhai!
|Saw this advertisement in the newspaper:|
Naye Dost Ki Zaroorat Hai, Purane Wale Biwiyon Ke Ghulam Ho Gaye!
|Aurtein Shaadi Ke Baad Gehne Pehanti Hain Taaki Logon Ko Lage Ki Woh Shaadi-Shuda Hain... Aadmiyon Ka Kya Hai, Thobde Se Hi Pata Chal Jata Hai!|
|Girl: I need to lose weight.|
Mom: Pooja Kiya Karo.
Girl: Pooja? Why?
Mom: Pooja Karogi Toh Bhakti Mein 'Lean' Ho Jaogi!
|Agar Aapko Sar-Dard Hai Toh Kuchh Der Biwi Se Zaroor Baat Karein,|
Kyon Ki Zehar Hi Zehar Ko Kaat-ta Hai!
|Mom: Kal Subah Jaldi Uth Jaana.|
Son: But Kal Toh Chutti Hai Aur Mujhe Subah, Kahin Nahi Jaana.
Mom: Mujhe Toh Jaana Hai Na, Jaldi Uth Kar Breakfast Kar Lena!
|Kaam Aisa Karo Ki TV Mein Aao, Na Ki CCTV Mein!|
|Friend 1: I haven't fallen sick for a single day in the last 18 months.|
Friend 2: Matlab Tu TV Serials Nahi Dekhta!
|Arnab Goswami: I, now, invite Mr. Rahul Gandhi to give his Address to the Nation.|
Rahul: 12, Tughlak Lane, New Delhi. Thank you!