Insults SMS

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I must be a 'Proctologist' because I get to work with assholes!
You're as useless as the 'ay' in 'Okay'!
Some idiot in a nightclub came up to me and said, "I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha."
I replied, "20 x 0 = 0!"
I may be fat, but you're ugly - and I can diet!
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand and put it over your mouth!
Why do you think I SMS you so much? Is it because:
I care for you?
Or I miss you?
Or I love you?
Or I need you?
It's because I need an idle person for time pass!
Happy April Fool!
Boy: Wanna hear a joke? 
Girl: No thanks. I'm already hearin' one!
Boy: Wanna hear a joke?
Girl: No thanks. I'm already hearin' one!
Boy: Your teeth are like the stars.<br/>
Girl: Awww.Thanks, are they that much pretty?<br/>
Boy: No, far away from each other!
Boy: Your teeth are like the stars.
Girl: Awww.Thanks, are they that much pretty?
Boy: No, far away from each other!
Boy: How do I play the guitar?<br/>
Girl: You should be on TV for your talent.<br/>
Boy: Am I so good?<br/>
Girl: If you were on TV, I can atleast switch it off!
Boy: How do I play the guitar?
Girl: You should be on TV for your talent.
Boy: Am I so good?
Girl: If you were on TV, I can atleast switch it off!
Ultimate Insult:

A Boy texts a girl.
Boy: Hey.
Girl: Hi! What are you doing?
Boy: Texting the most beautiful girl of the world.
Girl: Aww How cute!
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Boy: Ya! But she is not replying so I'm texting you!

Quotes

Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green.

Trivia

'Dreamt' is the only word in the English language that ends with 'MT'.

Graffiti

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.